Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Being Outnumbered

I am truly thinking about this outnumbered know the one where there are two little people versus one large person on a 17hr a day regular schedule. Obviously I had the pleasure of being outnumbered today, thus my "holy crap what am I in for" thoughts. Ava's best bud spent the day with us. Here is why I am stressing.

Little friend is 4 years old and could be considered somewhat laid back compared to my darling, and yet I am beyond tired. I am having "I chase a 16 month old for a living" flashbacks, its that level of tired.

Little friend keeps Ava busy by occupying her with the Hampster Dance, climbing everything, and nose picking. Which Ava finds absolutely hilarious. I responded with over 1000 gentle reprimands.

Little friend, although 2 months into age 4 must be watched viligantly for pee pee accidents. We visited no less than 5 women's restrooms in a 5 hour time span. Granted, we were on the move with tap dancing recital and children's museum visit. But golly, I was seriously wanting to beg a strange lady in the restroom for one of her extra diapers and call it "Auntie Perrin's little secret." Can you spare a square?

We had two, yes two, come to Jesus meetings. The first one took place in the car 1/2 hour after the gals met in the morning.

Me: Ladies, this is not how our day is going to play out. There are two of you and one of me. It is my job to bring you both home alive. (Your mother will kill me if you are damaged in any way, I say to little friend.) Here are a list of rules:

1. No biting, no hitting, no pushing, no shoving. (Ok, that is an oldie but a goodie for my babe. It is outdated but I can't start the Come to Jesus meeting without it and she knows it.)

2. No, loud fighting. Ava's mommy is driving in the sleet and refer back to #1 and the whole keeping you alive goal.

3. All little people must be able to see me at all times. No straying- you both have black hair and I have blond streaky hair so strangers don't automatically put us together. (Little friend is Chinese too, adopted on the same fateful day in Changsha in 2002.)

4. Parking lots mean you must be holding my hand. No exceptions, no skipping, no hampster dancing.

5. You all may have fun as long as long as you are not freaking out and disobeying rules #1-4.

ok. breathe. rumour has it that some parents have even more than two on a daily basis. three, four, five???? shit, old lady in the shoe next door regularly deals with her six and no one has died...yet. Think Zen, think Muhatma Gandhi, think non-violence....

Come to Jesus # 2 meeting. (5 hours after meeting #1)

Me: Here is the deal. Look at me, both of you! You two are freaking out running willy nilly around this place. There will be no lunch until THE RULES are reviewed and followed.

Them and Hungry: Ok, we want pizza.

So, the rest of our day was c'est la vie. Maybe they found their groove. Maybe I took a proverbial pill. (I assure you I did not take a literal pill, again refer back to the bring them home alive rule.)

However, I am now chillin' with the glass o' chard. While Main Muffin Man takes a turn with Ava. Little friend left at 5:30pm. Mommy to little friend showed up at door with chocolates, bonus.

Ahhh, how many more months until referral?


Johnny said...

Yes, this would be one of the many "You are approaching Danger Mountain" warning signs along the way to kiddo 2. Yet we insanely, errr...bravely press on!

Ed and Lisa said...

Oh my..... but isn't it different when they are yours? I only have one and he's... well he's just the bees knees in my book... all the other kids have issues but not mine. So maybe when you (and I) get our second child, all will be well??? lol

Lisa : )

Colleen said...

Okay, this has me freaking out! This is my fear that I will not be able to leave the house with 2 kids lest I pass out from sheer exhaustion in public and someone takes them home!

It sounds like you did good. I need to start practicing my "come to Jesus" speeches now.