Tag Time

Mrs. Figby asked me to play along. I'm honored, but not promising anything earth shatteringly interesting.


One body part you'd like to change: I'd like to be able to tell you that I am so comfortable in this skin and just love cellulite because it makes me a real woman and and who wants to be a Barbiefied cartoon of her skinny ass self anyway? But that would be a lie. I care. Not obsessively like in my younger days but I care. I think I'd make my hips and butt just a wee bit smaller (as in 2 pant sizes smaller). Now that's original right?

Describe your ideal Saturday: Sleep late, really late. Muffin Man brings me coffee in bed and then I open the other eye and he is dressed and has Ava dressed. Then he says, " Honey, you deserve a break so Ava and I will see you later tonight we are going on a daddy daughter date all day and you are NOT invited." Then they quickly exit stage left and I am left all by myself. For too many hours to count. I hope he reads this, who am I kidding?

What have you got leftover in your fridge: Lots of stuff I just spent a record $236.00 this week at Meijer. How can one little family of 3 need $236.00 worth of food? It's obscene. In my defense I bought a lot of meat.

You get to travel back in time for one day: I'd sit down with Gandhi and we'd talk. Actually, he should probably do the talking and I should shut up and listen.

If you had one hour with the President, what would you say to him: It's ok to say you are wrong sometimes. I'd also tell him it is ok to let a few people go, even if they have been loyal to you. Loyalty isn't everything. Being right and being the biggest and baddest and pushiest also isn't always the best. People don't inherently respect you when you are pushing them around. And then I'd tell him his mom seems like a nice lady, I dig the pearls.

One body part you'd never change: I have nice hands, long fingers. They look like worker bee hands. I also like my reconstructed chest. But not because of the reason you might think. For me reconstruction represents my power to heal. It is a small symbol of being strong. I don't bring this up to unseemly boob chat or anything. I like women to know there are choices after cancer survivorship and women don't have to live disfigured (physically or emotionally).

Your most favorite thing about motherhood: Seeing a kid who is truly happy with herself. She sometimes sings and dances and doesn't care who watches or what they think. Those are the times when I think I'm doing ok.

Ultra-violet rays or tan-in-a-bottle: Can't someone invent ultraviolet rays that aren't horrible for you? I am a 70's child who worshipped the sun goddess. I look better brown.

You have an unlimited expense account. What three things do you purchase first:
1. Lots of plane tickets to travel to exotic places.
2. A little house on the east coast NC Shore. Nothing fancy, just a pink house on the water. Me and my girls would bask in the revelry that is the shore. Muffin Man could grill us hamburgers until his heart was content. It would be nice and quiet. Then we'd use those plane tickets to go to New York when it got too quiet.
3. A huge gift card to amazon.com so I can buy any book I want at any time.

Your least favorite thing about motherhood: Being ON all the time. It can be exhausting.
It's 10:00 pm, do you know where your children are? You bet your biffy I do. She's in bed. She might still be protesting but she is in her bed.

And there we have it, some little bitty pieces of me. Rally kids, play along.