Tuesday, June 06, 2006

She has 4 stomachs

Breaking news from the land of nod:

I got a call from the Agency. Good news Perrin, we have a baby for you! You have been matched! I am of course overcome with joy and immediately the 1 1/2 years of waiting for this little bundle of joy simply disintegrates and floats off happily in the air leaving only what looks like little bits of pretty silver sparkly dust that land gently on my kitchen floor.

Agency girl goes on to tell me that she is a wee bit older than we requested. I tell her that is fine because my daughter is 4 1/2 now and less space between the girls will be fine. She tells me that the baby is 21 months old. Ok fine I continue, just tell me how to update my homestudy so I can bring the 21 month old wonder child home.

But then Agency girl, not to be confused with Wonder Woman, says that really she needs to speak with me in person. So would it be too much trouble to drive 3 hours right now and meet with her in her office? Ugh, I guess not. Gas is only $3.00 a gallon right?

I hop in the car alone. (This part confuses me since I rarely go anywhere without my little Ava appendage.) I drive up to the agency and Agency girl is waiting for me at her desk. I say, "Show me those cute little cheeks." She stalls and says that she must tell me that although they are sure this will not ever be a problem they do need to tell me that the baby has 4 stomachs.

What?

I explain that I am no medical professional but that sounds serious. Agency girl says I am welcome to shop the medical condition around town but really I should not turn down a referral just because the baby has 4 stomachs. Really, what's the big deal is their attitude? She will always have room for jello.

As a bonus they tell me she is from Chongqing and traveling there will be nice in August. I get all wrapped up and tell her I knew the baby was from Chongqing. I knew it.

Then Agency girl hesitates to show me her picture because she wants me to make a decision to adopt her even though she has 4 stomachs. I sternly tell her to flip the page and show me her little face. She is of course most adorable even with 4 stomachs.

Then it's over. I woke up.


Want to hear something else unrelated but sort of funny?

My neighbor, who is 7 months pregnant was over chatting it up yesterday. She's due Aug 6th. She mentioned that she is very tired of this pregnancy. I can certainly see why, she looks to have gained all of about 6 pounds, works in a nice air conditioned office and has an adorable little hubby who looks lovingly at her cute belly while taking yard work orders. She then says that she can't wait to actually have the baby because she is truly looking forward to some more "me" time again. Did I mention that this is her first child?

Come on you can laugh a little bit. Its ok.

10 comments:

Traci said...

Laugh? I'm cracking up!

First time parents are awesome. Really, I mean it. They remind us that we were all there once. It's fun to look back and laugh at my own thinking. Clueless...totally clueless!

Traci

Space Mom said...

What the *#@@ is me time?
Oh, yeah, it's that time between 10:05pm when both girls have fallen asleep and 10:15 when Dr. Jay wants some...
Yeah... that's the me time I am talking about!

Colleen said...

I don't know what's funnier, her cluelessness or Space Mom's comment. Hilarious!

Did you explain that her "me" time will be in the bathroom with a cute little one clinging to the door calling her name?

Susan said...

I had to laugh out loud. But...You mean there is no "me" time? Not even though I've gotten my tinkle business down that I can scurry all the way down the hallway, do the tinkle (door open, of course - can't be out of sight) and finish before she finishes toddling down the hall? Darn, I thought I had it all together.

Yours truly,

First time mom

Wendy said...

Hahahahahhahaahhaha! Silly neighbor.

I hate those stress dreams. I'm pretty sure you're baby won't have 4 stomachs, but that sure is an interesting thought.

kikalee said...

Boy won't she get a huge slap in the face during "me" time. On August 7th, you should treat her to girls day out, after all, what else would she be doing?

That dream so freaked me out. I'm having those too, esp. revolving around ugly referral pictures. Is that wrong?

T-shaped Girl said...

Ok, so I was reading this too fast...thinking that you really got the referral...

Clearly I am tired an not processing information very well tonight.

Hope your dreams are a little better tonight!

Kristin said...

omg... I was totally all, "4 stomachs? Damn, how do you fix that?!"

didn't quite catch the "land of nod" reference!

ah, you're neighbor... post an update in a couple of months when her "me" time has really kicked in!

Anonymous said...

Funny neighbor...reminds me of someone I know who complained that pregnancy was such an invasion of privacy. She had to give up smoking and couldn't wait for the baby to be born so she could smoke again. Ummm, I don't think secondhand smoke is much better for the baby than in utero smoke would be.

Liz

Traci said...

To answer your question Perrin.... I do think that these bizzare dreams come with bio babies as well as adoptive babies.

When I was pregnant with Valerie I had a dream that I was only allowed to care for her at my Mom's house because I wasn't "Mommy material" and I needed my own mother to train me for a long period of time before I would be allowed to parent on my own. (I wonder who made that assessment?) Anyway, maybe it wouldn't have been so weird except that my Mom had been dead for more than SEVEN YEARS!!!! Dreams are crazy.

The good news is that if we're dreaming then we're allowing our hearts and emotions to open up and be raw again. That's a good thing!

Wishing you sweet dreams tonight.

Traci