Where are those damned keys?

In the last two hours I have searched 3000 square feet for my set of these.
I swear this is my fault for killing too many brain cells in my youth. I have displayed a range of emotions, all for my 4 year old's viewing pleasure. At first I was in a minor panic. Surely they couldn't be too far. Keep looking. They I started to get agitated. I loaded her into her car seat and put all of my errand running junk into the car. She sat there for about 20 minutes before getting a little snippy. I unloaded her from the car. I continued to search while she decided to help me. Aka...look for 2 minutes until getting distracted by pulling toys out in the living room. Then I started to get pissed off. No keys. After another stretch of time I thought I might just push to make sure she did not find my keys yesterday and proceed to make them toy box fodder. She insists on holding firm to her story, "Nope, did not steal your stupid keys Mom."

Now all this strikes me as completely idiotic. Who really looses keys for more than two hours? How can this be when I am the type of person who sort of militantly puts the damn keys in the same spot every time when coming into the house.

To make the situation even more fun, Muffin Man is away on business. No keys, no driving anywhere until he rolls back into town about 27 hours from now.

I must say this little stunt is only second best to when I locked Ava in the car when she was a baby. She swiped the keys from my hand while I was closing the door she then deftly hit the lock button. Of course Muffin Man was about 1000 miles away for that one too. After a moderate freak out session I got a grip and called the police. Who came out in 15 minutes to mock me and unlock the door. Fun time was had by all.

So, where are those damn keys? I am obviously taking a Columbo break so as I don't pop an artery or have a kitten. Here is the weird thing...at 3am last night I was wide awake sort of stressed out by my list of things to do today and tommorow. I was sort of pining away for a day where we would just hang out in the house with nothing but a bunch of toys, the internet and a Mary Poppins movie late in the day. Funny how the Universe gives you what you ask for. Albeit in a half assed $100 to replace the key while inducing an acne breakout sort of way.

I'm off to take the refrigerator kick panel off to make sure they did not fall behind the counter and fridge.