Thursday, February 16, 2006

Word From The Ranch

February 15, 2006

Super Wonderful Adoption Agency
Who thought they'd check in and send a silly little letter since it will be
9 months tomorrow and there is no end to this adoption in sight.

Dear Main Muffin Man & The Lovely, Young, Super Hot, Amazingly Skinny Mother of the Year Perrin:

The trip to China will be a once in a lifetime experience. Second, in our case but who is counting? You are going to pick up your child! That is what we've been hearing for 6 months now, no 8 months, no 9 months and STILL counting. What a wonderful experience! Let's hope so.

But, please also be aware that it will be a very exhausting trip, both physically and emotionally.
Really, who would have guessed? It will make your trip so much more enjoyable if you are well prepared. Check, I got my ladybug Gymboree outfits in size 12-18 months in the mail today infact. I'm all ready to go. If you have any health concerns go talk to your doctor now. If you are not exercising, you may consider starting now. Does multitasking to eat brownie cupcakes while sitting on my ass for umpteen hours reading adoption blogs and yahoo board rumors count as exercise? Really, there can be quite a bit of heavy lifting in brownie consumption since my daughter tossed in that extra egg in the current batch. Remember, there will be a lot of walking and during much of the time you will also be carrying your child and your luggage. Wait, you mean to tell me we can't take Jeeves our house butler to schlep all our stuff?

If you haven’t been reading books about the culture and travel in China, and talking to adoptive families who have traveled, it is a good idea to start doing this, too. Right on sista...find someone out there who we might have a connection with to stay sane. I'll get on that ASAP....Yup.

If you are first time parent(s), taking a parenting class would be highly recommended if you haven’t already done so. Parenting class? Hmmm. Let's be honest we missed that boat in 2002. Please check with your doctor or local hospital to find information on such classes.
It will be a big moment for you to meet with your child the first time. Ok like, big big or more like HUGE big..or perhaps like stoked man, big? It will also be a big moment for your child. Think about the big adjustment both you and child will go through. Gosh, again with the big talk. You are killing me here. Please also take time to educate yourselves on the issues associated with this transition. I am sorry but Deb Gray's Attaching In Adoption gives me nightmares every time I try to read it. Then I break out in hives. Maybe I should start a book club. Talk to your social worker, listen/read other families’ stories and read articles/books regarding bonding, attachment, and separation losses. Hold on there sparky, in the paragraph above I was supposed to be exercising, not sitting on my tushy reading endless drivel.

Remember, the better you as the parents are prepared, the easier the transition will be for your child. Oh, good parent makes good kid...that is explaining a lot for us now three years later. I can not stress enough on the importance of getting prepared for this big trip. It will make the transition easier for you and your child, and make the trip more enjoyable! Yup, got the stress part down, no problemo!

Please also remember to monitor the expiration date for your I-171H Approval and your CIS fingerprint clearances. If your I-171H Approval or CIS fingerprint clearances are anywhere near close to expiring I would recommend you consider re-doing them. Uh huh, so file yet another form for $140 to re-do what I spent $5000 and 4 months doing less than 1 year ago. Seems reasonable to Muffin Man and me. You can always touch base with me if you are uncertain. Let me know if you need anything. Big wet kiss for you too, schnoodle.

Sincerely,

Your well intentioned adoption agency.

4 comments:

Lisa~~ said...

Too funny! I'm on the same exercise program as you, only the high impact one adding ladybug cakes and lots of chocolate. All that sugar should give us the energy to run up the Great Wall with babies strapped on our backs!

Gracencameronsmomy said...

That was hilarious! 9 months?? and NO news?? I'm sorry...
Lisa

Kristin said...

How helpful? How thoughtful? Ah, how worthless!

Damn, exercise and reading... don't they know you have blogging to tend to?

Lee-Anne said...

You are hilarious Perrin! I'm laughing out loud as I'm thinking of all those conversations going on in your head!!!!
What-the-hey, it's only been 9 months, what's another couple?!!! Ans: About another 10 pounds, 2 handsfuls of hair, 60 sleepless nights, a dozen bottles of red, 3 boxes of sleeping pills (that aren't working), 66 blocks of chocolate and 343 cups of coffee?