Goodbye Long Hot Shower

Goodbye Pack and Play. For you were my dear friend as she would sit content among a zoo full of stuffed animals for as long as my skin could take my beloved hot shower each and every OTHER day. Let us not forget that this stay at home mom sometimes opts out of the need for extreme cleanliness on a daily basis. It is a perk to be weighed carefully when considering a paying job as opposed to the non-paying hardest job you'll ever love. Stinkiness has its moments.

And yet, knowing that the option for full bodied cleanliness while the toddler whom shall now be referred to as climbing Spidy in homage to the great Spiderman himself was safe and sound and contained in her little baby jail called the Pack and Play.

She has sprung herself 2 times in 2 days. There is no more denial, she is more than fully mobile. She is able to leap tall buildings and scale wainscotting in a single bound. The Muffin Man timed the most recent death defying act and proclaimed her up and over the edge in 10 seconds flat without a plastic toy to stand upon.

I may not shower again until she can cognitively understand the full ramifications of "time out missy" if you don't stay out of the toxic cleanser while mommy has 6 minutes of naked alone time in the master bath. It could get ugly or stinky or both.

Now someone please wrap up some web shooters that she can attach to her wrists to hoist herself onto the roof to clean some gutters. She might as well being pulling her weight around her if she is going to try one death defying act after another.

I'm forever trying to teach these children to use their powers for good.