Friday, July 28, 2006

Still Waiting...

Still waiting for our updated photo of little love Liv. Still waiting on official TA. Still waiting for the willpower to turn down Edy's Rasberry Chocolate Chunk Slow Churned Ice Cream 1/2 the fat. (1/2 the fat my ass)

But in better news the agency called yesterday and they think we will receive official travel approvals next week. The following Monday at the outset, always with the disclaimer clause.

When we first got the referral I was a mad-woman researching the orphanage and region where Liv currently resides. (Did you notice I can't exactly say live, instead choosing reside? Where does Liv live? It's weird, perhaps we should have gone with Vivienne, then at least it would have been Where does Viv live? I live with a preschooler, can you tell?)

Anyway, I couldn't get enough of the video of the orphanage and the pictures of her current digs. I was compelled to see her through the eyes of another parent photographing her big white room with the metal cribs. I stared at the nanny photos willing their eyes to be kind and their souls to be sympathetic.

But now it is 4 weeks later and I can't do it anymore. The walls of the room seem too white, the cribs seem too hard, the nannies seem too foreign. I'm pulled to go meet her in person, and yet my feet are stuck in bureacratic concrete. My head is in the clouds and my heart is with her. It is surreal to be in love with a little person I've never met. How can you really be in love with another in a circumstance like this? Can it be true? I suppose it can if you believe her to be yours and you to be hers.

Since I'm stuck, and I've already eaten the rasberry chocolate chip ice cream maybe I will go see if our document case will fit inside the backpack for the plane ride. That would be productive right? Or maybe I will go count more ziploc bags. I've decided to pre-separate all the money into piles according to when we will need it and then package in snack sized baggies for the money belts. Now that's a party waiting to happen.

1 comment:

Traci said...

I always love your posts. These particular words:

"I'm pulled to go meet her in person, and yet my feet are stuck in bureacratic concrete. My head is in the clouds and my heart is with her. It is surreal to be in love with a little person I've never met. How can you really be in love with another in a circumstance like this? Can it be true? I suppose it can if you believe her to be yours and you to be hers."

...have made me cry everytime I've read them. This is my heart and how it feels. Again, you've described it beautifully. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.

Traci