Monday, January 21, 2008

Where is the peace?

Isn't Martin Luther King day supposed to be about peace and non-violence? My kids did not get the memo.

Ava, my 6 year old threw an embarassing tantrum when leaving Liv's parks and recreation music class this morning as she saw children using the indoor pool through the glass. She wanted to stay and swim. We didn't bring swimsuits since we were there for music class. Her solution was to simply run home and get swimsuits. I explained we needed milk and had to run to the grocery. Huge whining hissy fit in front of music class buddies ensued. I then casually remarked to another mother..."Thank God for full time Kindergarten.", and was met with blank stare and of course fit throwing 6 year old.

Twenty minutes later at grocery store Liv pitched a big old fit when she would not get in the cart...opting instead to walk along side of the cart. Which would be fine if she would truly walk along side the cart, which she simply will not. She has to skip gleefully while pulling produce down off the racks. Apparently watching oranges and apples bruise while hitting the dirty floors is monumental fun in her mind. As we moved to the self checkout lane Ava insisted in placing her hands on the overly sensitive bag plate. This completely confused the self check out machine and insisted I be carded for buying frozen pizzas. After convincing the attendant I was not hiding Jack Daniels in my cart I sniped at Ava to keep her hands to herself and stand on the other side of the cart. Then I found myself in a long conversation up in my head about the possibility of going back to aisle 12 and actually picking up a big old bottle of Jack Daniels...and feeding it to my kids. I have no idea how long this weird little day dream lasted but it was long enough for Ava to wander over to the in store bank and attempt to apply for a home equity loan at 6.25% in return for a cherry sucker. The obviously childless attendant gave me this lovely look shooting daggers at me for being one of THOSE yelling mothers. Fine. She then gave me the non-verbal look adoptive mothers sometimes get when one questions whether or not you are their mother. Seriously lady, why the hell would I take the time to bark at a 6 year old applying for a loan just to get the free sucker while pulling organic eggs away from the 2 year old in the cart if it wasn't my kid?

We are now home and Olivia is naked in my house which is set to a chilly 65 degrees. She has spent 1/2 hour contemplating the complexity of her belly button complete with waving at it. She is only distracted by tossing My Little Ponies at her sister's head. I'm not sure why she insisting on the naked bit...but seriously it would be a little smarter of her to go through this phase when June hits.

And I wonder why January brings the wet blanket of motherhood depression my way. I have a dream...yes I have a dream that someone will come rescue me and send me to Jamaica ALONE and toss in a load of whites while they are at it.


Johnny said...

Ahh yes. I'm at home helping referee because daycare is closed. We feel your pain.

Anonymous said...

Now, I do not feel alone either! Three tantrums in three days makes for one grumpy mommy. Thank goodness for MDO tomorrow.

Is it Spring yet? We need to go to the park and have a little fresh air and sunshine.

See you tomorrow!

Lauri said...

What a dream that is... Amen

Traci said...

How do you openly laugh online? The ROTFLMAO doesn't seem like enough, but that's where I am.

Valerie decided to let today be the day that she threw one of her massively big fits. The type that involve her losing all control and calling me names. Today she picked (drum roll), "BRAT!" I know it doesn't sound like much, but she has a history of these out of control screaming, crying, running away and hiding frenzies when she eats or drinks dairy. I put her on yogurt this week because she had to endure a round of antibiotics for bronchitis. Today was my punishment. Apparently, I chose this fit over buying expensive probiotics.

You know how desperately I want mid March, don't you? I know you do!

Bring on the park and a day in the pool! I have to wait a little longer on the pool, I guess.

Hang in there, Mom. Before long they won't let you see them naked!


Jboo said...

Oh man -- what a day you've had! I hate to laugh, but I laughed in a very sympathetic way. You know what I hate at the grocery store-- those awful combo car/carts. Maddy wants to drive it, but abandons it quickly and then I have to manuever it around and bash into things!! Oops--don't know how many lovely displays we've nearly destroyed. Come on spring!!

Elaine said...

What is it with 6 year olds? Mine used to be quiet and shy in public and now she's a whirlwind of destruction. I took her to the mall the other day and really seriously contemplated leaving her there. Bouncing off the walls, knocking things over, singing and dancing wildly, running into people (it was packed)and throwing a major fit over a package of grape bubble gum. Lord have mercy.
And oddly enough my 2 year old is into stripping down these days too.
Our girls seem to be doing the mind meld thing - pretty impressive since we're thousands of miles apart!
Indeed thank god for all day Kindergarten!

Ani said...

So sorry for your pain, but it was definitely good for some laughs! Hope both lovely ladies are back at school today.