Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The Dance Party Where Only I Got A Workout

This past weekend marked a huge milestone for us. Yeah yeah, my first baby turned 5 and all that and I cried feeling melancholy on the 18th but really the milestone was, a home party. Yes, the adult dreaded home party. Two hours of screaming banshees while momma dreams of a glass of wine and saying over and over, "At least it wasn't $300 spent at the mall".

Twelve of your child's best friends in drop off mode running like little chickens with their heads cut off through your family room bar area pulling bottles of vodka off the shelves and climbing the fire place in one fell swoop. I decided that we would shun the Build A Bears and Gymborees of America and opt out. Of course my vote was to opt out completely and sit on the couch while eating a little paper box of shrimp lo mein while watching Power Rangers. (My kind of serious partying.) But we all know who was going to win this one.

So after all the themes (and there were many) were planned, after the cake was made and the invitations sent...I thought for sure we'd have one heck of a dance party. My little Ginger Rogers can cut quite the rug. So, I assumed that every 5 year old this side of the Mississippi would be dying to swing a hip and toss an elbow in my cleared out playroom. (I cleaned the room people!) I'm glad I don't know how many times exactly I guess WRONG when it comes to the little kids who cross paths with me in life.

I made a mixed tape. Twelve mixed tapes (in cd format) to be exact. Each child would get to take home a fabulous memory of Ava's Favorite Dance Tunes, it would serve as a life long memory of all the fun they had dancing up a storm at Ava's 5th Birthday party. Look, closely at the picture. Ava is dancing, Mommy is dancing. Please email me and tell me how brave I am to show pictorial representation of myself dancing on the internet. A smattering of other children are dancing. But guess what? The cool kids were sitting on the couch shaking their little heads at me. They could not be cajoled to dance. What's up?? They are 5! Shouldn't this be the time in their little lives when they throw caution to the wind and have a devil may care attitude about their white man's overbite? Apparently not. I've been officially dissed by not one but 3 five year olds. The kids danced for exactly 10 minutes (the kid's who would dance at all, because they are the ones who's other's played that goofy I Hope You Dance song for them in their cribs as babies as they cried crocodile tears hoping their children would participate gaily in life while feeling small when they looked at the ocean) and then it was a free for all.

I lost control, in 15 minutes.

I decided to let them knock themselves out in the playroom telling myself it was Free Play for another 2 hours. Then I retreated to the kitchen for more than my share of cake.

It was pineapple ice cream cake. And it was yummy.

Want to know what the "cool non-dancers" said about my cake?

It was something to the tune of yuck, and can we have the popcorn that is on your counter instead?

I casually asked if they'd even tried my cake. They said yes. I spooned popcorn onto their plates secretly hoping they would choke on it.

Evil, I know. But this is why I will never be a preschool teacher. Not even close.

In the end I think everyone had an ok time, no one went the the emergency room. Ava cashed in on a boat load of kid clutter. I was left to pick up folding chairs and pineapple bits from the carpet. Nothing like that to tire a girl out.

What will we do next year? Perhaps we'll opt back in and she can take her 12 best friends to the day spa up the street and I can take out a 2nd mortgage while eating my shrimp lo mein out of small paper boxes on my sofa.

Party on.


Colleen said...

I laughed so hard at this post, Perrin. This will be the first year that I DON'T host the party at my house. I am opting in and going to Bounce U! I can't wait.

But the secret hopes they choke on the popcorn because they won't even try the cake, been there done that and it cracked me up.

So glad that Ava had fun!

T-shaped Girl said...

I can't get that image out of my mind! HA! What a riot! The girls sulking on the couch are little party poopers.

Well, glad Ava had fun anyway. You'll have to hold this one over her head when she's older!

nikki said...

Soooo funny!
I think I may have taken a glimpse into my future! (At least OUR girls aren't too "cool" to get their dance on!)

TaiwanMommy said...

Ahhh, a good laugh! And I needed one! Thank you!

We have ruggers close in age and circumstance to your teeniest. Harper (yes, Harper, you TKAM fan, you) and Taelor were 14 mo on 11/2. They joined our family on 9/20. They also have a big sister, who would dance endlessly with Ava. Kyra is pushing 3 (and going on 30).

I think I need one of those purses of yours for my BFF, Joanna, who just turned 40 and is feeling very red-hat-ish.

Love your blog.. I've laughed, I've cried..it's better than the stuff at the cineplex.


waitingformj said...

I LOVE your blog and I've realized I should comment more- I know comments feed the blogger's muse. Just think, your girls KNOW how to make their own fun and the cranky anti-cakers couldn't figure out how to function without a uniformed, teenage party guide to tell them what to do! Rock on, mama!

Alyson & Ford said...

I need to remember this... a few years from now, I will be laughing at myself. It will happen to all of us..... Keep doing what you, Ava and Liv like to do.


Lee-Anne said...

Crap! Bloglines has been holding out on me!! I thought you must've been on holidays or something!

Happy Birthday Ava! Your birthday cake sounded really YUMMY!!! Perrin, just make sure you've noted who the cake boycotters were...no invite for them next year?!