Sunday, November 14, 2010
She started the day by asking me several times if this day was her real birthday. Yes I told her, it finally was her real birthday. She's been waiting for quite some time to turn five. And then she asked again, "Mama, is it my real birthday?" I know she was excited, it was the finale to counting down the days over the last 2 weeks. She was simply confirming that her day to be five was really upon her. It was her day to wear the birthday crown at preschool, her day to eat anything she wanted for dinner, her day to open presents and receive well wishes.
And yet an hour later I drove away from preschool wondering if that was what she was really asking. Is today the day, I asked myself? The real day of her birth. We have some paperwork to suggest that yes, indeed 11-12 might really be the day of her birth in Yangxi County, Guangdong, but we don't really know for sure. We probably never will be quite 100% sure. Was that newborn baby born before midnight? A while after? Was that baby born 2 days prior to her finding? I thought to myself on that drive home from preschool would a birth family be more likely to remember her on a nice round anniversary like five years? Where are they now? I bet they would think its funny that she hates princesses and asked for Spider Man toys. But she is also interested in lipstick. My Spider Man loving, lipstick wearing five year old. Our clever, sweet hearted girl.
Over the years I've learned to have my private moment thinking about what may or may not have happened on the days we celebrate as birthdays for the girls. I don't dwell on the unknowns like I did several years ago. I have my thoughts, my wonderings about the truths, and then I focus on chocolate cake and paper crowns with paper candles on top.
Happy Birthday my Spiderman Loving Lipstick Wearing amazing Olivia Xi GeGe. Happy 5th. May you have many more.