Thursday, July 24, 2008

In Your Room Young Lady

Did your mom ever make you spend the whole afternoon in your room?

Ava's Mom did.

Here's the thing, for the last week taking my children to public places has been well ummm...rather hellish. They run in different directions at the chiropractors, they pull shit down off the walls at the hobby place, and they were caught licking the floor at the grocery store - in separate aisles, no less. (I'm saving that tidbit for the first boy they ever decide to kiss.) And, don't even ask what happened when I tried to take the dog to the groomer with both of them in tow. It was not pretty. Let's just say the dog was the most well behaved on that trip off the cul-de-sac.

So, today I warned them and I warned them good. No shenanigans, stay close to me and do not touch one bolt of $50.00 a yard fabric. We enter the store and they make a bee line for the cording by the roll, pick it up and take off running...cording in hand unraveling throughout the store. Squealing in delight, no less.

The rather snippy mean lady checking me out barked something about not wiping noses on the cream damask silk drapery. I grabbed the first little arm I could get pinched it lightly and said SIT DOWN. Two very beautiful almond shaped eyes glared at me and one little pouty lipped girl simply said NO. I immediately had a kitten and walked out of the store...quiet and eloquent with rage.

I did not yell, amazingly enough. I did not stomp, still reveling at that one. I like to stomp on occasion. I simply announced that little girls who cannot listen and who act like heathens will no longer be privy to society.

It's a few hours later and little trouble is sleeping it off. Big trouble is starting to feel the pain since all the puzzles have been put together, all the dress up clothes are strewn over the floor and she's been denied scissors. I'm not sure why she needed scissors but today is not a day for her to wielding sharp implements, just for everybody's overall personal safety.

Oh god of raising small heathens and converting them into civilized critical thinking feminist young ladies...toss a Mom a bone.

9 comments:

Wendy said...

Oh, I feel for ya. I try to leave the kids at the neighbor's lately while I run errands. Or, I just take one heathen with me at a time. Summer break is just wee bit too long;)

erin said...

Ouch, that's one heck of a shopping trip. I feel for you. I think they know instinctively that it's serious when mom is not screaming or stomping. That quiet fury is the real deal.

Hang in there. How long can summer last, anyway?

Traci said...

I am not laughing. Honest. I'm not. I have to take Valerie to Cinci tomorrow to shop for show clothes and the idea of having Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton with me makes me wince in pain. Unfortunately, it's the loud voices and constant bickering that make them like Ralph and Ed, not that they're funny.

Traci

Ani said...

So funny - clearly, I have only 1 kid (and after reading this post, I may re-think adding kid #2 to the mix!)

Hope today was a better day.

Beverly said...

Oh {{hugs}} to you and way to go on controlling your rage!!

B-squared said...

Time for school to start, eh? I always thought it started too early around here, but maybe not. I was holding it together until I read the scissors comment. Then, as the text-crazed aliens known as teenagers say (I think): LOL...or rather, ROTFLMAO! ;-)
Take care. (Enjoying a good adult beverage tonight?!)

Gracencameronsmomy said...

Thank you for making me feel normal...My horrible experience was at the vet. typing on the computer, knocking over jar of dog treats...you get the picture...

Spacemom said...

I have that trouble too. At least you got them out of there! Hugs!

Shhhhhh .... it's a secret said...

Yowza Perrin! School is almost here! Wish I was closer with a pitcher of martinis and a couple cold glasses!