Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Found the Glasses

We found the perfect glasses to go along with the bathing beauty and her swimming ensembles. Only, as it turns out big sister is the one who seems to be able to carry off the glasses.

Oh lord, if only spring hunting for swimsuits and matching sunglasses was 1 iota as much fun for moi. Where is my $9.99 Target swimsuit that fits perfectly and comes in 6 bright sunshiny colors? If only I could even stomach the thought of a swimsuit for me in any bright sunshiny color. And don't tell me oh, it's 2007 you can wear any color you like, you liberated woman.

Check out the Land's End catalogue...the bright lemon yellow swimsuits do not come in "Women's sizes". So women of a certain girth and earthly magnitude should not be able to wear lemon yellow if they so choose? (Really, check out page 7 in the most recent catalogue.) Where did the apparel industry get the term "Women's sizes"? I think I might take offense to that. I suppose I can't get too uppity at Land's End, since they do seem to carry long torso. I love that, long torso. "Yes, I have a long torso." I guess it is a given being 72 1/2" inches tall. The torso is long. It is just that long torso sounds a bit like a medical condition. Say it outloud, am I right?

Dr #1: Yes, today we are going to fix the deviated septum.

Dr# 2: Oh, while we are in there can we do something about the long torso?

Dr #1: Oh no my good man, we'd have to call in the specialist for that.

At the bottom of the catalogue page it states....Don't know your size? Call 1-800-LANDSEND

Oh yeah right, like that's going to work. "Ummm, I'm 72 1/2" tall and I simply will not step within about 16 paces of a scale so I have not one clue how many lbs. but I know I have a long torso, and umm...a little junk in the trunk from the months of reading internet blogs. Can you help me determine my size please? Oh, and I'm partial to lemon yellow and polka dots."

Right, the customer service rep in Banglaore, India will surely be able to help me with that one. I think I might skip the delightful ice pick in the eyes conversation.

Or, I suppose I could do what I always do. Go the the swimsuit graveyard that is the left side of my bottom dresser drawer and hope for the best. Operate in denial, but hope for the best.

Or I could concentrate on the glasses again. Yes, perhaps I might have to find ice blue plastic cat eyed glasses in "Women's" size.


nikki said...

I often look at my daughter and wonder what it must be like to look good in ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING!
Hmmm...don't even get me started on baithing suit shopping. I always end up in the "drawer" too, and it is never a good thing.

Your stories always crack me up. Thank you!

Traci said...

I love that last picture the most! She's so cute!