Thursday, December 14, 2006

All Bundled Up

Here they are, my girls all bundled up. This photo was taken just a few days ago when it was oh so cold outside. Then, yesterday we were out chalk drawing on the sidewalk because it was over 50 degrees. I didn't grow up in this town but I did mostly grow up in towns on about the same latitudinal line, therefore about the same weather. I don't remember winters like these...freezing and then 50 degrees all in the same week in December. The Muffin Man is getting huge guffahs out of the "cow farts are causing global warming" stories out this week. He thinks Al Gore a cow fart himself. I believe his heart is in the right place. I do own an environmental license plate after all. And so by political standing alone you'd think me saddened by the unseasonal warmness of the last few days. I am not. Even those those kids do look super cute in their winter gear, I've decided to start counting down days until the pool opens. It is somewhere around 194. Seems like a lot.

But then again 194 will probably pass in a flash. How do I know this? One baby has been home for over 4 years and the other home 3 whole months. She turned 13 months this week.
I'm watching two of my favorite bloggies travel to China to pick up their babies this week. I can still smell China. I can still feel my stomach turn as I watch someone's live snake dinner swim in the tank and poke his little head over the top. How can it all be gone so fast? We've been home for over 3 months.

I'm sort of bundled up this week too. I'm wrapped up in all that is Christmas and life with an almost 5 year old and a baby who is not really a baby anymore. I vacillate between wanting to enjoy each minute with them while they are small and a desire to figure out what will happen next in life as they grow. They will grow fast and move on to school and beyond. What will I do next? Should I even be thinking of this now when they need me most? I'm not exactly sure why I feel this time in my life holds such opportunity for more than a mom who does all things for kids at home. Perhaps it is a desire to be more than a cliche.

Usually I like to wrap these posts up with a resounding epithet or snappy ending pulling everything together. A lesson for me and for anyone who reads. But there is no lesson yet, I haven't figured out what is next. As always, I pressure myself to figure it out. I'd be well served not to pressure myself and just be. I know that. And yet...still working on it.


glinda said...

I've been following your blog for a while, and put you as a link on mine--don't worry, not a stalker, I just appreciate a good sense of humor. But, more to the point, just wondering who your favorite bloggers are...I too love to watch as families unite...


nikki said...

I too have been following your blog for quite awhile and putting in my 2 cents as if it is needed.
We have been home from China for almost 2 years now and I still miss it.
But, I think we all struggle with the issues you wrote about. We all have days where we are in the NOW and days where are minds wander to...what comes next?