Friday, November 03, 2006

The Pink Load.

Tuesday night I took every last full sized Halloween candy bar we own and put them in the freezer. We own the Costco big box since in a moment of denial I convinced myself we'd be more likely to give away that a big box of 30 full sized candy bars than a large bag of smaller snack sized bars.

It is now November 2, 2007 and we still own 22 giant bars of candy. We gave away exactly 3. I have downed 5 leftovers in 2 days. Two for breakfast on November 1st. Two for snack today and I'm not sure about the last one...a sugar high and resulting memory loss is a conspicious thing. Reason number 628 I'm not leaving the house until May and Liv is 18 months old.

How did we only manage to ditch such a low low number of candy bars? We have at least 10 children in the neighborhood, not including the six pack next door. (Yes, six of them.) What has become of today's child? Is no one teaching the fine art of Halloween grabby hands anymore? Is everyone turning to granola? Here's the real clincher. I left a big bowl of 30 large candy bars on our front stoop on Halloween night unattended while I shopped my two kids around the neighborhood. The Muffin Man is in Las Vegas on business eating at Emeril's so I was left solo. Unattended people. The Jack o' Lanterns were lit, the front light glowing. Something is wrong with today's youth they not a) too nice or b) too stupid for words since I have 22 candy bars left! And so, I am left with an icebox full. Poor me. (Just so you learn something in this post, take note that BabyRuths are NOT better frozen like Snickers.)

After my 2 frozen candy bar snack today I decided to catch up with a little laundry. Nothing like 16,000 grams of sugar to get the hands folding.

Here is what I noticed at my house.


Do you notice anything strange? Do you see a trend? A color trend?

Most people do darks and lights. We do pinks and other. Forget the testosterone. Since I was left to contemplate laundry while riding the sugar wave I decided to just wash all the Muffin Man's underwear with Olivia's red jumper to make them pink.

Now my life as a candy eating stay at home mom will be much more simple since we don't need to sort anything...we will simply toss in a pink load.
All in a day's work. That is why I get the big bucks. Now excuse me, it's time for a Butterfinger.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are too funny. And that candy bar thing? Just weird. Where was everybody?

Sandy said...

You crack me up, Perrin! I'm with you on the kids & halloween though...knowing our numbers have been dwindling over the past few years I decided to keep count. In two hours I recorded exactly five trips to the front door to tell them how cute they are and to let them pick their candy. Five trips to the door, NINE total kids...NINE kids in TWO hours! I don't get it!

Traci didn't even bring her three kids over!...that's a first and I'm still trying to recover from the trauma of not seeing them on Halloween.

Susan said...

How funny! We live on a dead end street and the kids that do live on our street go a neighborhood nearby so they can get some real loot. I, however, have sponsored a case of almond candy bars for my assistant's kid's school (too many apostrophes?) Yum. Yum. Yum. At a buck a piece this kid should get an Ipod or something. Tell Muffin Man to wear his pink panties with pride and pick up a bottle of Carbona on your next grocery shopping trip.

Ani said...

So funny - a pink load. I guess you are officially a girly-girl house :)

T-shaped Girl said...

Heh- I love this! I do pinks, whites and darks when I do laundry. Good idea to just eliminate those whites...less work for you. Brilliant.

Colleen said...

I totally get the pink load! And word didn't spread in the neighborhood that you were giving out full size bars? Now that's just crazy. As a kid I would have hit your house twice.

Sister Carrie said...

Ha! I love the photograph of your pink load. I have four girls, and I've been sorting my laundry into lights, darks, and pink for years. Sometimes I can do a purple load too. Now that there's a preteen and a teen in the house, I can also do jeans-only loads.

Tracey said...

Oh, that's too true. I have pink loads... And I only have 1 girl!

I'll keep that in mind about the frozen Baby Ruths. Good to know, good to know.

Lee-Anne said...

But remember... Zero Coke has NO sugar... so the candy vs softdrink it all equals out?!!!

You're too funny!!!