Thursday, September 27, 2007

Sis Boom Ba - Blah

I have nothing of substance against the average cheerleader. Cute, perky, shiny hair, in shape...what's not to love? But I don't....never have. It is a completely unjustified secret (until now) lackadaisical loathe. It is one for which I am not especially proud. Being that I am usually all live and let live etc. To each her own...and let the kidlets be free to be who they really are, never squelch that new age of me.

This is why the Muffin Man was practically doubled over in hysterics last night ready to have a kitten when he guessed immediately what Ava's first choice for after school activity would be. Tried as I might I just could not steer her to italian cooking, karate, baking, mad cap science, chess for champions, or kickball. "Cheerleading", she whooped. (Just like a cheerleader...I observed grumpily.) I tried psychology, reverse psychology and bribery. Nothing worked. "Tell her how cool chess playing scientists are.", I snottily scolded him. He giggled like a school girl and slinked out the back door. Seriously, I am the only one who really parents around here.
So, on Monday night at 7pm I will be standing in line at the school gym with all the other cheerleading wanna-be mothers with $20 in hand to try to be one of the first to enroll Ava in cheerleading. My God, I could tolerate this so much better if she would just concede to hip hop dancing. I've heard through the ever powerful elementary grapevine that after school activity sign up can be very crowded and somewhat competitive. Fabulous. Competitive to get this kid into the class? Where is the ice pick? My eye needs it.

Since she doesn't have to see me go sign her up I might take my old basketball, university diploma and dusty old corporate id badge while standing in line. How's that for live and let live?


Johnny said...

Ha. Our girl has announced she will be a cheerleader-astronaut when she grows up.

Seriously, we've already gone through two sizes of our college cheerleader outfits (women's basketball season she wears them to each home game). We have to buy a third one once the season begins in November.


Project Ni Hao said...

Hmmmmmm. Just wishing you luck with that, because I know all about wanting to stick that ice pick in my eye with the cheerleading. I'm just glad we're down to the Last Month of high school football.

heidi said...

OMG! Can't they just stay ballarina's instead? My daughter's 5, please don't let her want to be a cheerleader, please make her want to be on the TEAM! Good luck, have a "shot" before ya go.

Terri said...

OK, I am sitting here in hysterics, I just love to read your journalism. Being a cheer coach for so many years, I don't even want my daughter to be a cheerleader. But look for pictures on our blog on Monday because our football team is playing at the Dome Sat. and Annalei has a cheerleading uniform to wear. What in the world am I already creating!!!

Please keep us posted on sign-ups and I know Ava will look adorable in her cheer uniform!!!!

Beverly said...

Oh hilarious. That is truly the girly-girl of girly girls.


SBird said...

I am so with you on this. And it's not just because (I tell myself) that my husband's ex was once head of the cheerleading squad and I couldn't land a cartwheel to save my life.

Kristin said...

I met a woman yesterday who is a former Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader.


Too bad, up until that point, I was starting to like her!

Good luck and Go Team GO!!