Accessories Make The Girl?

Hello, my name is Liv and my mother never combs my hair. I have 10,000 hand-me down hair bows and yet...nothing. Not one paste on pink frilly accessory. My shirt has soy barf on it. It stinks. But my mom is super tired of laundry so we are learning to live with it and she decided to cook bacon in the house to cover the smell since going to the mall for a Yankee Candle is out of the question. I would rather not sit strapped into anything.


Want to see my sister at 11 months old?

She wore red velvet and dare I say it...hair bows. Yes, she had one for each day of the week. I plan to discuss this at the Thanksgiving Dinner table in the year 2020. I hear that kid had bling. Where's mine? Huh, I want to know.















Deep down in my heart I believe hair bows are for poodles.

One Month Home Checking In

We've been home from China for one month now. For over one month I have been mom to two. I've been thinking a lot recently about what I have to say about my month at home.

It has been quite a lot of at home time, much more than I am used to. This is mostly because it is a butt load of work to get two kids in the Durango to head off to a fun filled hour of roaming the aisles at the grocery store where the 10 month old is climbing out of the cart every second because she-just-will-not-sit-in-the cart-seat and the 4 year old is either discussing why people choose to be buried in the ground and why can't we see angels and why can't WE have Fruity Cheerios when EVERY other preschooler this side of the Mississippi gets Fruity Cheerios, they are healthy you know...and what would happen if Olivia ate one of the dust bunnies in the playroom, would she barf green? Our healthy dose of at home time is also partly due to the fact that 10 month old Olivia is happy and engaged, bright-eyed and even sometimes bushy tailed at home. When we are out too much, she pops a thumb in her mouth looks at her feet and seems to emotionally fade a bit. So, we stay close to the barracks. Really close, as in if I don't go to the post office or the bank for even a 30 minute ride in the 'burbs to see the land of the living...I tend to need pinch so I don't find myself banging my head on the kitchen floor.

Oh, I know this is the first leg of the "adoption adjustment" period. I have lots of experience adoptive parent friends who say "The first 6 months suck, they really do. Just buck up feed and diaper the kid and 6 months later before you know it, all will be fine."

Here's the thing, some moments are hard but I wouldn't say the first first month has sucked. How is that for setting the bar high? Some moments are quite frankly brutal. Some moments are so cute and exciting you are overly emotional crying because your (yes, that is YOUR) kids are the damnest cutest kids in the world and you are so grateful to be a part of whatever cutie patootie thing they are doing. Then later that same night you haul off and get close to verbally assulting your child because she and her friend hid one ballet shoe and you have absolutely no time or patience for hunting for a ballet shoe at 9pm. Then you go to bed feeling like a really crappy parent, because good parents are more patient than that. But wait, the 10 month old giggled wildly while her sister tickled her armpits only 2 hours ago, so you can't be the MOST horrible parent in the world.

So what is the message here at one month home after completing adoption number two? I guess I want to say it is a roller coaster. It's not the same roller coaster I rode for 12 months reading the Rumor Queen and obsessing over adoption videos set to Iz's version of Over The Rainbow. No, I've finally stepped off that coaster but I can't seem to leave the park. I think that is part of the message, part of the lesson...just because you achieve something big in your life doesn't mean you are done. You still need to get up and walk around the park. I'm still here, trying to figure our whether I should hop on the River Rapids ride or climb Everest. Which one will be more settling to my stomach? I honestly don't know. I might be wandering the park for little while longer. I guess this is what hapens when you buy the "ticket is good for life" you know.

Someone pass the cotton candy.

Come Again, How Many Vials Of Blood?

In most internationally adopted kid's life there comes that doomed day when she must innocently follow her mother or father off to the local international adoption clinic for dum dum dum...a quick prod and general testing.

Yes, this sounds par for the course in any 10 month old's life right?

This day was yesterday for us. She pretty much set the course for telling the infectious disease Dr. what she thought about the whole deal by pooping twice while in the room. He barely winced at the aroma giving him extra bonus points which he needed since he has got to be about as old as some of my older underwear. She checked out fine and he proclaimed her a "keeper". I'm not kidding he said she should be a keeper, ugh ok. Would he ever tell any proud parent to send her back to China in a box? He explained her ears and sinuses looked gross and prescribed yoghurt to protect her stomach since yet another round of anti-biotics are necessary to stop the incessant goo that runs from her nose.

Then he sent us promptly off to the hospital next door for blood work. I've sort of had myself worked into a lather about this stick and run episode for weeks now. This is probably since I still hear Ava's wailing in my sleep from when she presented a non-bleeder elbow four years ago. The phelobotimist (is that a great title or what?) took one little peek at her wiggly stringy arm and called up to pediatric nursing. They came down and asked how old? I said, "ten months". They said, no way we like the newborns. So, Olivia and I followed up with "who is going to get the blood from this kid"? The overly pregnant phlebotimist called an emergency room nurse from next door who agreed to take a shuttle from next door to attempt the feat.

I called the Muffin Man at home while hyperventialing into a paper bag asking him to pick Ava up from preschool since we were going to be a while.

30 minutes later the emergency room nurse, who should be annointed, got 6 vials of Livi blood from a whrithing and heaving infant. She was sweet enough to ask if I was coping alright since I was crying black mascara all over my daughter's pink outfit. Thank goodness it's washable.

We consoled ourselves with Wendy's fries on the way home. Yes, Olivia is comforted by french fries. We are indeed soulmates.

How 2 Coke Zero's Will Kick 3 People's Ass

I am d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g. Muffin man is on the road show selling widgets to midgets or something and I am wo-man-ing the front. Which for an energetic sprite like myself, is normally not that much of a dramatic problem. We do have Pinky-Dinky Doo here for just such mama is draggin' emergencies. The only thing is, kidlet number 1 easily glazes over with Pinky Dinky Doo...but kidlet number 2...not so much. (Go ahead and judge the crap out of me since yes she watches copious amounts of tv. But I am a good mother after all since I feel hugely guilty about it.)

About the Coke Zero

When my mom was here helping me drag my ass off the floor for that first week home from China that shall forever been known in history as "the brutal life sucking force that was not with me", she purchased some caffeine free diet coke. It's been sitting innocently in the garage ever since. In my whizz bang state of mind that seems to follow me from minute to minute these days I accidently forgot that ALL diet soda drinks are not caffeine free. Fine, I admit it I had two carmel colored beauties yesterday afternoon. Yes, I now 2 seems like a lot but shit, this mama gig to two sometimes kicks me in the butt and a 3pm Coke Zero is like nectar from the Gods. Have you had this Coke Zero? It is not your average Diet Coke junk...it is lovely.

Since there is 1/2 a case of caffeine free coke outside I sort of thought in my mind that this yummy coke free stuff was also caffeine free, otherwise known in my house as drink it until you puke without remorse. Apparently not. I was flying high at 1am. The body was exhausted, mind racing in the Indy 500, apparently that stuff just sends me through the roof. What a strange and horrible feeling. I figured out the whole caffeine business causing sleeplessness at approximately 12:37am.

So, then I started worrying about my exhaustion and patience level with the kids at about 1:15am. It is now 3:30pm the next day and I'm done. Ava is avoiding me like the plague and poor little Olivia is staring me down like a one-eyed wonder. Thank good someone in China thought to send me a napper because that is the only reason I might make it to 8pm. Oh yes, a personal and heartfelt thanks to the gang at Noggin too for making preschool television so great that my 4 year old will NOT step away without adult remote control intervention.

So how does one come down from a Coke Zero high that was still running at noon today? Chamomille tea? Oh forget it, come tonight I'm breaking into the chardonnay and following the kids to bed at 8.

An All American Girl?

Last night the Muffin Man and I settled down to ride the couch and watch the Discovery Channel's special series on China, revealing it's past and possible future. It was well done, there is no doubt about that. It was surreal seeing some of the sights displayed in a large budget documentary when you were just there 3 weeks ago taking your very low budget film. Their pictures of Tiannamen Square did not have the immense green scaffolding or wholly innocent shots of some lady's rear end taken by a well intentioned four year old. The Forbidden City seemed well, more forbidden and mysterious when shot by the experts at the Discovery Channel. They showed no three year old boy peeing on the ground in his split pants.

When the section about making rice in the far Souther regions of China started I sat in awe. The narrarator explained that these people had been farming this same rice field for over 20 generations. "It was in their blood, their destiny their ancestry", he explained." I couldn't help but to think of my little girl in the dirty soccer uniform sleeping upstairs. She plays for team England of all things. Then I was stopped in my mental tracks as I saw my little far Southern China girl sleeping in her Children's Place jammie set with blue stars. Was rice farming her destiny? Or is club soccer with juice boxes and fruit snacks their destiny? What is destiny?

I could hardly sit still as the program went on to talk at length about China's population control and the effect that the one child policy has had on China's first generation of household's with single children. There is a generation of people in China who feel the weight of their parent's hopes and dreams resting on their small shoulders. There is pressure to succeed, pressure to make them proud. An Olypmic hopeful was featured. She is 12 and does not live at home with her family. She gets scolded for slipping off the balance beam in competition. I'm naive , I know but I will not look at the 2008 Olympics the same. I will not cheer for the Chinese gymnasts to win, I will cheer for them to find childhood.

Off I go to the next soccer game. I suppose I will cheer for my girl regardless of whether she kicks the ball in the right direction or not. I will have a juice box ready for her at the end of the 32 minutes. Destiny is a many complicated thing.

Busy and Getting Nothing Done

We are busy gals.

Cookies for the preschool fundraiser are happening. We had to have a long discussion about NOT licking the icing knife while icing the cookies especially when the good Luthern folks will be there scarfing down sugary morsels tonight. Don't call the board of health, I'm already on their list due to Olivia's salmonella and I don't need yet another 20 minute lecture from the state nurse about proper hygiene and hand washing. While I was listening to this well meaning nurse I was chasing my 10 month old around on the floor while she popped dust bunnies in her mouth lying on the hard wood as if they were cheerios. And, no damnit she did not get the salmonella from OUR dirt, it was someone else's dirt perhaps along a beautiful Southern Chinese coastal region. The green runny nose is due to our dirt for the record.

We are also spending quite a bit of time perfecting the heave and roll. This is a tai chi move perfected by Chinese sisters the yesteryear bygones. My girls are channeling this move from their ancestors. It is especially helpful when younger sister is getting dangerously close to older and stronger sister's beloved toy. Younger sister gets close...aiyi...heave and roll. Presto, toy is older sister's yet again. Done enough times it will also insure that younger sister's rib cage never grows beyond the desirable 18 inches in diameter. This is encouraged by the honorable parents so that younger sister can always stay cute in her 6-9 month old clothing.

So, as you can see we are very busy. So busy in fact that hoisting 2 children in the SUV for trip to the supermarket usually proves much too exhausting for honorable mother. Now the dark side of this...I am out of coffee creamer and have resorted to baby formula mixed with a little Splenda to do the trick. This is bad right? This is beyond gross right? I swear if you've been up at least 2 times in middle of the night and have't showered in 2 days your standards will be lowered and baby formula substituting as coffee creamer isn't all that bad.

Getting There and Bringing Them Home

Over the next few posts I will see if I can do a bit of a trip recap. It does offer different perspective to be home from China a few weeks and think back on the mayhem that involves taking a 4 1/2 year old, 2 parents, and 1 grandparent from the Midwest to Newark to Beijing. Take a gander around Beijing for a few days and then fly everyone down to Guangzhou for 12 days. Oh yes, and don't forget about picking up the 9 month old along the way. (This is where the packing gets dicey.) Then take a 3 hour flight from Guangzhou to Beijing, layover for 5 hours and then fly to Newark. Layover 2 hours, wait on the crowed runway for and hour before another 2 hour flight home to where corn grows and people bar-b-que chickens and steaks on their backyard grills. (Not one snake swimming in a tank immediately before becoming dinner here baby!)

There are about 30,000 China adoption packing lists on the internet nowadays. Go download 15 of them and entertain yourself immediately after referral. Then use your common sense. Don't bring a coffee maker, I know I know some of you are little barristers in the making but at the 5 star hotels you can indeed get a cup of joe. Cappiccino at the WS is to die for. You can also leave the flares, large garbage bags, and duct tape at home. Yes, it is the real truth...I've been to China twice and never needed a roll of duct tape. I have no idea why it shows up on over 75% of packing lists.

Here is what you should bring.
Very few clothes. Launder there people. It is a royal pain in the ass to have too many clothes. I swear when you get there, are woozy from the caterpillar fungus, and sleep deprived you won't give a rats ass that you are wearing the same pair of birkenstocks for the 12th day in a row. Tyra Banks does not do China and there is no cat walk. Even our guides were super casual this time.

Pack tons of ziplocs. Pack all your stuff in them and label label label. Then toss in the black sharpie marker to the suitcase. Ziploc your stuff you will need for the first leg of the trip (perhaps Beijing or Hong Kong) and pack that stuff on the top of the suitcase! That way you will not be messing up the WHOLE suitcase early in the trip. Pack the baby's stuff in separate ziplocs at the bottom of the suitcase, won't need that until you meet him or her and packing neatly will be a lost cause by then anyway. When you get to China don't discard the ziplocs. Keep them in the hotel rooms and use them as diaper baggies, dirty clothes containers, extra gift storage, wet swimsuit storage etc... there are 1000s of uses.

If you are traveling with a small child other than the one you are adopting make 2 bags full of fun stuff to do! One is for getting Bubba to China and one is for getting Bubba home. Don't let Bubba get into the second bag until you are leaving Guangzhou. (Hide it in the suitcase.) That way she will have a NEW set of coloring books, markers, toys etc... for the long trip home. This tip saved our weary asses, people. Man, was she jazzed to learn she had NEW crayons and NEW coloring books for the trip home.

Don't take the fabulous new gymboree clothes to China. I know you want to. I know some of you think you NEED to. But don't, save it for her coming home. Here is why. Chances are it might not all fit anyway and since it is expensive Gymboree you won't want to ditch it or donate it. The laundry ladies might even lose it. Ava is still missing some socks and some pjs. If you see a size 4T hot pink Carters jammie set on the streets of Guangzhou near the Lucky Laundry tell Jessie I want it sent home pronto! Here is the other thing, once you meet your baby and see China you will be overcome with emotion and want to do something for these fabulous but poor people who live and work in orphanages. I know it was purely ease my western guilt but I asked our guide to donate all of Olivia's in China clothes and left over diapers and meds to the next orphanage she visited. She happily took everything and told me she would be visiting a Guangzhou orphange next Tuesday. She had almost ourgrown several items anyway, and I knew our friends with great taste would make sure Olivia got a new outfit or two when we reached Western soil.

Don't skimp on the meds for you or the baby. Bring it all. Just walk into your local CVS and open your wallet and have the clerks toss one of everything into that red cart. Don't need a sleep aide? Ha on you, buy it anyway. All normal bodily functions and the probability of them working properly in China are off bets on this trip. Take advil, take cold meds, take cough meds, immodium, stool softeners, buy one of every baby med that is colorfully displayed. Also, buy more than 1 baby tylenol, if your baby needs it for 12 days one little bottle ain't gonna cut it. Yes, you can get most of these things in China but who the hell wants to have to navigate a western pharmacy run at 3 am when you have a screaming infant and a screaming husband? Not me, sister. I took the pharmacy...left the baby toys and took the pharmacy. And, I'd do it again.

I'd do the whole trip again. Man, I love this adoption travel shit.

What's Next?

It's Saturday night and I have just viewed our Olivia Day video for the first time today in its entirety. I want to share it but right now it is just too intimate, perhaps that will change soon. Seeing yourself with your children on video in one of life's most stressful and yet overwhelmingly happy moments along with your spouse and father whom you love dearly is just indescribable. I almost shudder seeing it, isn't that strange? The video is like I remember, but not entirely. Those of you who have had children either through adoption or natural birth might be able to relate. I am grateful that I have the video since there are several aspects that I did not even remember, and I am sad that I have it. I can't even explain why...human memory is a strange and wonderous thing.

Olivia is a dream. She is the fairy tale child. I was not expecting or prepared for the fairly tale. I have a friend who has two Chinese children and she speaks often of the emotional fairy tale adoption that was her first child. No one is more surprised than I am to get the fairy tale the second time around! I am embarassed to admit that I was too uptight and scared as a first time parent to enjoy the ups and downs of babyhood with Ava. I want Olivia to stay 10 months old with every fiber of my being. (I am the mother who has professed to being a kid mom, not a baby mom.) I wanted Ava to be three years old at this stage, I pined for preschool. It is me...I'm flawed. Ava wanted to move contantly as a baby and be out of the house, so we did. We went somewhere everyday, I am not exaggerating. We had completed Kindermusik, the Children's Museum classes and Gymboree by the time she was 15 months old. She hated the house, this is also hard to say since it was in part a bit of a rejection of all that we had to offer. Why did she cry in the house? And love the mall? Olivia is different, she is alive in that playroom. Ava is even now alive in that playroom, she plays with Olivia non-stop with toys she hasn't looked at for 2 years. Olivia is the catalyst for a new type of trust and love in our family. I am dumbfounded, humbled and in awe that China would let us take her. Sometimes looking at her huge wise old eyes makes me tear up. Everything this kid does is golden in my jaded eyes. Every grin, every mimic, every nod of the head makes me swoon with mommy love.

I was unprepared...am unprepared for loving two equally...differently but equally. What was I thinking? I would adopt clones? No, but I just wasn't prepared for the emotional rollercoaster of two darling girls, two different and wise as sage children.

I've been thinking about how the next few posts will shake out. Perhaps a trip recap? Of course there is a short packing discussion for adoptive families since no one else in their right mind would be interested in ziplocs. Should I share the Olivia Day video? I have several pictures of the girls that I will post soon of course, and maybe even my follies with the pediatrician who called yesterday to tell me that the board of health will be calling us as the identify the type of Salmonella Olivia has and how we should treat it. Oh, more diaper joy to share with the state, fabulous. Right now they are busy with spinach E coli so we can talk to them next week. (I knew that the diaper situation wasn't normal, damnit.)

Who cares about all the details....I am in love with two ladybugs. May they both sleep peacefully through the night.

Creatures of Habit

Aren't we all creatures of habit? On some level at least? I tease my husband about being a 70 year old man in a 40 year old body since he has his routine and by golly he's sticking to it. He likes to eat late, he likes pizza on Friday's, he religiously watches football in the fall. I tease him but I suppose Ava and I are not really that different. We have (or I should say had) our routine and were pretty content. Preschool days, Chinese school on Sunday afternoons, China buddies playdates 2 times per month, we eat soup or nachos when Daddy goes away on business, she likes at least 45 minutes in the tub, I like a glass of chardonnay after she goes to bed. I can barely function without my weekly fill of Law and Order reruns. I even walk the same 4 mile route across the street several times a week and never tire of seeing the large trees and 30 year old houses.

Then came Olivia. Let me preface this by saying she has got to be the sweetest human being known to man. She might even qualify as the "super human easy baby" award winner for 2006. I'm actively looking for a place to nominate her. I feel so guilty for trying so hard to force her on to our schedule. Whatever that means. I don't even really know what schedule I would choose if I could. Yesterday in a moment of active desperation and trying to gain control over a household run by a 10 month old, I dug out a pink post-it note and jotted down a sample daily schedule. It includes the 4 bottles, 3 meals, playtime, and 2 naps. I have it stuck to my calendar.


This is my half assed attempt at a baby, household and world peace. Miss Olivia blew a big fat rasberry when I showed it to her. She is apparently a fly by the seat of her pants girl. She likes to sleep late and eat often. No schedule required since Mommy and Ava look at her all day trying to read signs of what she needs or wants.

So it is onward and upwards for us. Today she slept until 9am after sleeping through the night, how can I even utter one word of whine with that? (Did I not say perfect kid?) Schedule smedule...maybe we will just continue to wonder what our next hour will be like for the next several weeks. So what if I can't seem to get out of the house for more than 30 minutes at a time since she either gets hungry or tired or poops all over the place anytime I attempt to plan to set foot more than 30 paces away from the playroom. Perhaps tomorrow I will pull out the big guns, the lime green post-it notes and rethink the schedule.

Some people have asked me recently about ziplocs. I'm letting go of the schedule thing and I will talk about ziplocs and packing soon. For those of you who haven't taken time away from your precious world to hang out here at twoladybugs I was somewhat crazed about ziplocs before leaving for China last month. Ziploc folks recently wrote me a letter thanking me for the 2 gallon sized endorsement. I'm expecting kickbacks, I wrote back. Anyway, yes ziplocs are the bomb and ironically they hold "the bomb" too, if you are having to deal with baby bombs if you get my smelly drift. Heee.

More to come on my bouts with mental retardation and small ingenious breakthroughs where China packing is concerned.

Go ahead, catch me if you can. I am headed off for the big kid toys.  

Hey, are you looking at me? Don't bother me I am takin' down a 4 year old.  

Right, all the better for eating with. 

Hmmm...spatula. 

Wheels on the bus, always a big hit. 

Dazzling Pictoral Representation of Our Life

We have been home a week and these are the only photos I have taken. Shame on us, I know. They are somewhat half assed and do not show how absolutely over the top cute my Olivia is. I suppose they are representative of our life this past week though. We have been militantly focused on Olivia's need to eat. The kid is a machine. 4 bottles and 2 meals a day, but wait make that 3 meals a day since today she pitched a big ole' stink when she woke from a nap only 1 hour after being fed. I thought for sure teething had set in or Damian's child had awoken from a 3 week slumber. Turns out the kid only wanted some pureed bananas and a cheese cracker. Go figure.

I think there is a lot you forget when you are a second time parent. This perhaps falls under the same category as when women give birth and they forget about the excrutiating pain so soon that after only a few months they are getting happy with hubby and presto another birth in under two years. The same goes for how much you forget about how much time babies take. They are like little time sucking hogs pulling at your pant leg, before you know it it's 3pm and you are still in your jammies with an unmade bed following a long trail of primary colored toys from the bedroom to the living room...she's in her third outfit due to one poopy incident and one barfing incident mind you, but nothing is getting done. Except that you notice that you saw her toothless little grin 3 more times than you did yesterday. So you think ok, dust bunnies will wait, we will just buy more bottles rather than cleaning the old ones, and the bill collectors will surely understand. Who the hell cares, she is smiling!

Ahhh, this is life with a 10 month old. My mission shall be to capture this smiley phenomenon complete with big sister proudly grinning as soon as a load of laundry moves from one pile to another and both girls appear to be in a somewhat agreeable mood.

Back Home Again

Yes, it has taken me a full week to begin to get my bearings. Only for the grace of my parents who helped with the trip and then after, once we were home am I seeing straight. The trip home was delightfully uneventful considering we were traveling with a four year old and a 9 month old. My only dance to brink was about 6 hours into the flight from Beijing to Newark when I suddenly realized that I had packed 6 cds which contained about 600 trip photos into the large suitcase which was at the time being carelessly jostled in hot cargo in the underbelly of the 777. How many suitcases were dropped on top of ours? Would it crack the cds? Would our travel mates share their 600 photos with us should our cds get broken? All I could think of was Olivia telling this story over and over at Thanksgiving dinners well into her 40's about how her lame ass mother broke ALL of her China adoption photos leaving her with nothing. An orphan with nothing...can you even imagine the guilt?

When we arrived at Newark I sprinted to the baggage carosel shouting at the Muffin Man to pick a kid and dropping the other off with my dad who stood dazed and confused. "Photos, oh in the luggage?" I got the big green suitcase and while seeing my husband's dirty underwear fall to the floor I drove for those photo cds...I silently traded a difficult flight on our last leg home for those cds to be in perfect condition with the heavens. Silly Godly trading will work I rationalized in my 25th hour of no sleep. Then there they were, perfectly stacked up without a scratch or dent. I breathed a sign of adoption trip relief. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Poor Olivia became a US citizen standing behind a man in a panama hat from somewhere foreign who left our olfactory senses reeling. Twenty minutes later the tough talking security guard with the thick New York accent was no match for me as I quoted my 4oz. right to non-prescription Benedryl for my babies from the 60 airport security signs I'd read along the way. She called a supervisor to make the call and Olivia blew out a nice green booger than earned us our meds back pronto. (The kid poops on command too, more on that later.)

Olivia was a dream the whole way, Ava colored quietly and napped without incident. I continue to swoon with my unbelievable fortune with these amazing kids. To top it all off I had 600 photos of our China experience to give to Olivia for her to share at Thanksgivings to come.

Now for some photos....I bet you are expecting something along the lines of matching pink sundresses aren't you? Well, shame on you. You need to read an archive or two to see how lame I truly am. It has been one week home and this is all I got. I promise to do better tomorrow and next week. Hmmm....Blogger is not allowing photos right now, what a surprise. I will upload them next time. Apologies.

Consulate Day = Coming Home Eve

What took us 8 weeks to pack up to come to China now must take us less than 8 hours to re-pack to come home to America. Wow, one little 16lb. baby is taking up ALL the space in my backpack for the trip. It weighs more than she does. Good thing our new buddy Jessie on the Island was willing to sell us a nice new backpack for $6 American. Now all we have to do is remember to pick up our 16 little bags every time we plane, train, bus or automobile on the way home.

I want to take my girls home so badly it hurts. And then again, seeing them here in China makes me sort of ache leaving their homeland. Ava flows effortlessly between life here in China and our American life. She takes the sights and sounds and smells of Guangzhou and marches on just as she does at home feeling the entire universe revolves around her 4 year old world. People have asked me on this trip whether China has brought forth sensitive feelings for Ava. I suppose it would be sweet and rather melodramatic to say yes, but the true answer is not that I can tell. She wants to come home to her soccer team but is honestly happy watching Chinese cartoons and playing the game of gathering my attention by pulling my pants while I attempt even one conversation with an adult. Her questions about Chinese life and the orphanage have been all matter of fact. In typical fashion I don't sugar coat it with her I just attempt to explain different people in different parts of the world live differently. She nods and moves on to the next interesting event of the day. I must add one caveat to this though, and that is that life here at the Swan and 5 star living is NOT typical Chinese life or Chinese culture, heck it is not even typical American life for that matter. It is not reality when you don't even have to push an elevator button by yourself for heaven's sake. Perhaps the sights and sounds of heavy city poverty, Chinese life and the adoptees story will come a little closer to home later in her life.
For now though we are focusing on getting to America to start our life as a family of 4. No more waiting... waiting for paperwork, referral, baby, trip to China. It is all now under our belt and I almost feel this unspoken permission to begin living life since everything we could have asked for in life is now here.

Scroll down a bit to see the famous red couch and the cutie pies who sit rather tenatively on the velvet.

Families at the White Swan. 

A red couch picture 

A Day At School

Hey, look at us we aren't missing any school. We took a trip to the local boarding school this afternoon. Children are kindergarten age to primary school age and board 5 days a week at this showcase school. (I cannot imagine sending Ava to boarding school while she is so young.) They are mostly children of Chinese government officials. It is state of the art! Ava had a blast playing with the kids.

1st Dr. Visit and Another Day On The Island

There must have been about 100 babies lined up for medical exams in this tiny office in Guangzhou yesterday. Fill out a form, wait in line, plop your babe down on the scale, measure her head and poof, everyone is ready to go to America.

So much about this trip to the medical office was the same as last time. Screaming babies with mass crowded chaos that only lasts a few minutes before you are released to make your way back to your temporary hotel home by way of 50 shop keepers vying for your attention and ultimately your almighty dollar. Then so much is different. Last time I felt more in control of the trip and the adoption and all that was required of us as parents adopting Ava Jing. I knew when to pay and when to appear for appointments, I gave gifts at the right time and we had a well dressed baby with a clean face. This time, I embarassingly had to borrow 100 yuan from a travel mate to pay the guide for something at the medical office. See how clueless I am? My baby is healthy but with a runny nose that continues to drip non-stop due to the extreme difference in temperature outside versus inside. It was smeared into her eyebrow this morning at breakfast. Ava insisted on wearing her purple crocs with dirty shorts yesterday morning, and I noticed her hair was uncombed only at 4 in the afternoon. I chose to let it go rather than argue. Am I now one of those mothers who is harried with her hellions running amok? Hopefully it is an adjustment period and Ava's teeth won't be growing green fuzz in another week. Bad hygiene aside everyone is relatively happy, heathy and well fed. I suppose this is what is important on this trip.


I leave you with this picture of Ava riding the bull dog on Shaiman Island. I guess this woman behind her represents the average American visiting the island? Hmmm....

Happy Monday From Guangzhou

I feeling better today, hooray. One z-pak started and a little sudafed sinus and Momma's back in business. Just in time too. At 10am this morning we have to take Olivia to the obligatory medical exam here on the island. This medical exam has absolutely nothing to do with checking the physical prowess of your baby. It is more about paying another fee and after having your baby for a week it is more to test how some chinese doctor can strip your baby down to plop them on the scale hear then scream bloody murder and then hav e fun watching the stressed out mommies and daddies pick them up to comfort them. Good times, right of passage here in adoption land.

It is about 7:30 am and my crew is sleeping. Olivia is just waking up after over 12 hours of sleep. I swoon with love for this kid! Her head smells like perfect baby fuzz her wirey little body has a perfect tummy pooch when she's eaten 8oz. of formula. She smiles when she sees us and is happy to let us comfort her when shes scared or upset. Right now she is speaking Cantonese, well baby Cantonese which consists of gullah gulllah gullah. It makes perfect sense to her. Other new development, she is cruising like a '65 Mustang and with the confidence to boot. She even stands for a few seconds unassisted. I don't think it will be long before the super baby is walking on her own. This is all great and everything but someone better get to work babyproofing the house at home. I was expecting a few months before mobility.

Oops, she's awake and needs grub. Medical exam pictures later.

Today is Not Pretty so Pictures From Yesterday

I don't know what made me think that if everyone else in the room was sick I would miraculously escape the wrath. I'll spare you the details but thank goodness the guys were willing to take both girls this morning. I've already slept from 10am to 1pm and am just starting to be able to see straight. The good news is that the guys have recovered and Ava is doing better with her bronchitis. Did you know that the White Swan provides breathing treatments? Ava is now a regular. She now anticipates the Chinese medical staff and people on the streets asking if she is from Hunan and matter of factly states "Yes, I am a spicy girl while rolling her eyes." So much for Chinese reverence for elders. Someone forgot to send her the memo. I suppose I am just destined to see the inside of medical clinics while traveling in China. Grrr....

This picture is a little light but it does show us all at the Guangzhou Museum that features the 2000 year old tomb. Our guide told us that this tomb and one other in Hunan are the only tourable tombs like this in China. As luck would have it we got to see the lovely 2000 year old gal in Changsha last time, compete with 2000 year old hair and organs in a bottle. Yummy. Now that's a good time, dried up guts.


I think that we will forever call this picture a girl and her pearls. What a story this will be when Ava graduates from University and receives the pearls that she picked out in China at 4 years old. She was very clear that white was better than black. Pink, wouldn't do either. Her taste is classic at heart I guess. I've never seen so many South China Sea pearls and black beauties from Tahiti in wholesale atmosphere. They string them there after you select your fancy. They double knot each pearl with strong silk. Ava and I simply walked from each bunch (they are bunched like bananas) and lovingly touched each and every string. Holly Golightly would have been jealous.

Olivia has finally settled down for an afternoon nap and the guys are headed off the the pool. The room smells like french fries and ketchup and baby poop. Unfortunately housekeeping has already been here. I am going to go rub a little lavendar lotion under my nose and take another nap. Until later.

Day 6 Guangzhou

I feel a little like I did when I was in Vegas last summer, ungodly hot outside so the fabulous hotel is just that...fabulous, but then after a few days it is Ground Hog Day and each day spills over to the next without any special marking. The hotel is like being in an underground city in close encounters of the third kind. You have to do a city tour or something just to keep yourself from staring at your fingers while counting to 500 and drooling at the same time. I am a little worried Nurse Ratched might show up by next Wednesday.

My guys were sick yesterday. I think that Ava accidently gave them the Chinese creeping crud and they were supine almost all day. It is amazing to watch men supervise a 4 year old and a 9 month old while resting comfortably in bed (I had over 2 hours of adoption paperwork in the afternoon). What the heck am I missing and why can't I figure that out at home? They are a little tired today but seem to be rebounding nicely. Olivia and I are holding our breath in hopes that we drew the keep healthy card. In preparation I am swilling Airborne and obsessing nicely over little bottles of Purell.

This morning after Ava proclaimed that she would only be speaking and looking at me today she decided against her better judgement that she would indeed like to tour the 2000 year old tomb here in Guangzhou. Apparently all of Mommy's attention on that adorable little morsel we call Olivia has caught up with her in grand fashion and Mommy would be hers again for the day. We all agreed and Daddy carried Olivia and Mommy focused 100% on Ava's every whim. It all somewhat resembled a daft eunach catering to the empress's delicate temperament circa Qing Dynasty. But, when in China..... What a difference a few hours of that all made though, Miss Ava is feeling poorly and has a new mei mei to deal with...she's dealing with the changes and I'm sure that's the end of this family's sibling rivalry issues. Don't laugh out loud, it's unseemly and does not become you.

So, what's a girl to do with all this excitement? Grab Daddy's credit card and head off to the wholesale pearl market of course for retail therapy. Ava and I happily touched thousands of pearls while oogling white, pink and black beauties. We simply could not resist and each of us ladies got a strand with earrings to match since this is no time to worry about baby needing a new pair of shoes. Or formula, or diapers or an education. We threw caution to the wind and Ava selected white pearls for herself and her sister. Momma chose black and they are to die for. The Muffin Man was a huge big sport about the whole deal and simple said, "Just wear them lots." What a dude!

Did you see Ava's new rags? Nice huh? What four year old wouldn't love a swishy red princess dress? Olivia has one to match but that was too much effort for me to get them both into the dresses yesterday. I am pacing myself with this 2 child stuff, you see. She put it on and I almost cried she was so happy to be wearing such a pretty dress. She paraded Olivia and I all over the White Swan lobby in high style until she proclaimed it itchy wanting her shorts back. All in all she's a pruple croc future birkenstock wearing gal after my very big heart!

Us and the Family Chen

Neck need a workout? Tilt a bit to the left to see us at the Chen Family Academy in Guangzhou.

For all the bonding with children experts out there in the world I had every intention of carrying this child in the Baby Bjorn 24x7 for the first 6 weeks. Well, that lasted a little less than 72 hours since I need my chiropractor and unfortunately she is cracking backs in the midwest as we speak. It is beastly hot and I wimped. She rides the bjorn in the aircon and the stroller while touring. It was a little easier with Ava since she LOVED the stroller as a baby. Little Olivia would rather snuggle up with her white washcloth under her neck, thumb in mouth and our arms around her. Alas, I am not complaining one iota, this little babe could be described in some camps as a dream baby. Easy going and she sleeps. Did you hear me? She sleeps. My 4 year old still rarely sleeps. Although she has many other redeeming qualities which shall be named later.

Check out jie jie and mei mei. Are they a pair forever or what?

Day 4 In Guangzhou

It is our third day with the darling Miss Olivia. She is seriously studying us a little less and casually flows from one family member's arms to another. She is quicker to smile at the adults, of course Ava gets a small giggle each time she does a dance and claps her hands and says "Olivia" in her sing song voice. Olivia's big eyes get enormous when she is looking at what her sister is doing. Ava is doing very well with sharing the attention but then there are three adults sharing responsibility for making sure she gets ice cream and daily trips to the fabulous resort pool. Unlimited Chinese cartoons and Guangzhou's version of American Idol is helping too. A little sibling rivalry will probably set in more solidly when Daddy goes back to work, Grandpa goes home and Mommy is doing laundry and changing diapers full time. Ahhh, the glamorous life.

We took a trip to a fancy shopping center today. I can now not even remember what it is like to look at a price tag and not to have to divide by eight. I've given up since we all know I was never the mathmatical wizard in any group. We have several more days here and I am scared that we might need an extra suitcase to bring home loot. The Muffin Man is a powerful shopper, it is his only girlie feature. I simply don't have the energy to state my case as to why the den in our house does not truly need Ultra Man displayed on a shelf, sad. So, we continue to buy out Shaiman Island...and it is only day four here. In more exciting shopping news Olivia is the proud owner of 5 pairs of squeaky shoes already. I'm hunting them down little leather mary janes in Ava's size to match.

The Chen Family Academy was also on the docket this morning. It was as lovely as it was four years ago when we were there the first time. Ava was a little unimpressed since they did not have ice cream as I sort illuded to before we got off the bus, a totally novice parenting move on my part. She pouted in 4 year old fashion and I walked the old building in awe of its grandeur.

Thank goodness the agency is holding our hand through the adoption proceedings since I don't even know what day of the week it is. More paperwork tomorrow afternoon as we work towards Olivia's Chinese passport and visa.

Many thanks for the bloggy comments they mean the world to us! More pictures in a flash assuming I can get them uploaded. Zaijian.

The little ladies are all tuckered out. Both girls are napping, yes you heard that right, BOTH girls. Those of you who know us know that Ava thinks napping is for weenies. But after spiking a 103 fever last night and rebounding with only a chest cold she is out for a while. Olivia says napping is not for weenies and is pooped after applying for a passport and visiting the Chinese grocery store.  

It's official, Guangdong Province says we are a great match. We are officially Olivia Xi GeGe's parents.  

Olivia Day

I apologize for the choppy"ness" of the blog and photos, Blogger is somewhat touchy with uploading photos but we will do our best.

Olivia day was all we could have ever hoped for and more. It is worth every maddening waiting moment of waiting over a year and a half. It is worth the jet lag slump that seems to linger beyond what you think your body should tolerate. It is worth the sleepless anxiety immediately before you meet the baby. Over the past few days I couldn't decide if should have passed on the pork dim sum in Beijing or if the nerves were getting to me. It was the nerves, I am now downing leftover pizza in the room as luck would have it. So much for the stress induced China Adoption diet weight loss plan. Breakfast was french toast while Olivia was passed from family member to family member and Ava showed her how to do a little dance and "move it, move it" as she says.

Olivia is a champ. She is tired and seems to be happiest when she is with Ava. She seems to retreat into our chests when we are in large crowds at the civil affairs bureau. It scares me too, poor little thing. But when she is with her family we are seeing signs of opening up with an irrestible little grin.

Life is good in Guangzhou. More photos later...Miss Liv seems to be stirring from her nap.

Here we are as a new family of 4! Olivia is absolutely perfect in every way. More to come.

Ava climbed The Wall.

One Big Trip

All is well in The Middle Kingdom. After over 24 hours of traveling Beijing greeted us with 100% humidity, gray skies and its lovely people...so who cares about the weather. My God, it is easy to remember why I love this place of my children's birth so much. It is bustling yet comfortable, it is hot but refreshing to the soul, it is confusing but still with a sense of humor. It is a complex place. When I am here I feel Chinese on the inside. So much so that I find myself surprised when my family and I gather stares from passers by.

If you are at all thinking about bringing your little one to China on an upcoming trip just do it. Our 4 year old jet setter did beautifully. She took the on airplane long lags like champ. She conquered the people movers in Newark like no other before her. I might add that the Muffin man and my father logged in a few miles on the people mover as well. Of course when the highlight of a trip is a .20 piece of fabric used to tie bags together over and over and riding a people mover until you are dizzy, you know you are truly seeing international travel through the eyes of a child.

Beijing is different than it was in 2002. Here, folks it is all about Beijing 2008 Olympics baby! No expense will be spared, no person will be worked too hard, and no shred of bamboo will be left untouched in all of China since it is all standing as scaffolding for building venues for the upcoming games!

Today was in essence a blur. But when you are jet lagged and then attempt Tiannamen Square, The Forbidden City, lunch and shopping at a Friendship store and then The Great Wall how could you expect anything else?

I will leave you with our great trek up the wall. (Scroll Up to see photo.) Last time I visited Jujongyang Pass I was teary eyed with reverence for its physical immensity and the metaphorical immensity of how our lives would change in the next 24-48 hours. This time I was equally mesmerized by the Great Wall...but admittedly distracted by Ava's interest and propensity for absolute involvement in life's immediate task at hand, which happened to be climbing that wall. Wonder if this is a metaphor for things to come as well.

We are off to Guangzhou tomorrow to settle into the White Swan and prepare for Olivia Day.

Last Post Stateside

T minus a bunch of hours and counting. Tomorrow we are off to Beijing via the Newark route. Our goal is to post when we safely reach Beijing and get cozy at the Kuntai Royale..now does that sound swanky or what? Kuntai Royale. I'm envisioning large swinging palm trees under white mosquito netting and elephant rides for the kids.

Ahhh, what a nice change from sucking up brightly colored hair barrettes from the far reaches of the living room carpet with the Hoover. Yes, that's been pleasant this morning. I've also come dangerously close to giving birth to a kitten as I test the limits of the blood vessels in my forehead while trying to fit 16lbs of toiletries into miniscule corner of a suitcase. But damn it, I've had it in my head that the three of us will be only needing two suitcases and I'm sticking too it even if my poor husband has to file for divorce while I place my big butt on his baseball hat to squish for more room.

Bon voyage, so long ya'all and zaijian until we meet again in Beijing.

P.S. Don't worry I will be taking pictures of all the exciting things along the way. My dinner on the plane, Ava's first atomic meltdown, and bomb sniffing airport dogs should we encounter them.

Big Red is ready to go. 

Leave the Kitchen Sink?

We leave for China in exactly 4 days. How the heck did that happen? Why in over 1 1/2 years could I not have found the time to re-paint the crown moulding in the living room? We leave in 4 days to meet our daughter, why the hell am I obsessing about dirty crown moulding?

Here is the big suitcase. As of this morning it weighs 45lbs. The limit is 44lbs. Hmmm...gonna have to trust that they will give us an adoption trip pass on this one folks. I am NOT repacking big red.

Here is another bone of contention between the beloved Muffin Man and myself. He thinks that it is ok to pack the kitchen sink if he thinks it will be of comfort to him in Guangzhou. I on the other hand have told him numerous times that in Guangzhou you can purchase Western style kitchen sinks, for a few measly pennies in fact. Ultimately he is a person comforted by things, stuff, dare I suggest junk? I on the other hand am a person comforted by simplicity...the less things, the more likely I am to be in control of said things.

You see the psychological dilemma? If you are in the China adoption process right now you might want to work through these issues with a professional with your spouse in your spare time. It could mean less xanax for you 4 days before leaving for China.

Now here is something where I must say that I agree with my spouse. Let's go get new clothes for China. I know this all sounds highly counterintuitive and all since packing for this trip should be akin to packing for a camping trip. Dressing up is not necessary and your new child will probably barf all over whatever you are wearing anyway. It's a fact, look it up. However, we have been inexplicably drawn to the new underwear aisles of our favorite Kohls. We have new tee-shirts, and new walking shorts. It is crazy. Maybe this is an unspoken thing in international adoption, all parties adopting orphaned children with absolutely no material possessions to their name must present well with new tee shirt from Target.

This whole process at times seems a little like we are living in the world of close encounters of the third kind. And I hope the Chinese laundress in Guangzhou appreciates the fact that our family has new underwear.

At The Water Park

Video Hosting - Upload Video - Video Sharing

Yesterday's water park adventure. Obviously I need a few NYU film school tips. But she was having fun. As far as mastering the technical aspect of loading video to blogger...reading the directions on dropshots.com was most helpful. Don't know why I didn't think of that a few days ago.

Adult Conversation

This weekend the Muffin Man and I had a rare opportunity to share a meal and a beer at a restaurant. A real restaurant, as in dining like I used to frequent and take for granted. I admittedly sometimes refer to our kitchen as a restaurant since some like to eat at 5:30 some like to eat at 8:00 some like their chicken in little clumps some like it underneath cacatiore. But no this was the real deal. No chicken allowed, adult conversation only.

Adult topics of conversation only:

1. New government regulations on liquid as carry on items in the cabin. With the help of some friends I have learned that I can purchase benedryl in little solid strips, so my panic attack is over. Muffin Man contributed that since he wears contacts he is sure they will just let him on with big ole' bottle of saline. Ugh, no. Not if you read www.tsa.gov . To which he thought he would solve the problem by putting the bottle in his pocket and sneak in on. Ugh, huh. This brought up the opportunity for our adoption pre-flight "Come To Jesus" meeting to go over the rules and regulations which will help to keep Daddy out of jail and Mommy sane.

a. When they do not have hamburgers, smile and say thanks for the rice.
b. When the ticket lady at the counter says no I'm not switching you to the seat with more leg room closer to the free granola bars, you say "Have a nice day ma'am." And slowly back away from the yellow line.
c. When the tour you really want to visit is not available, you say "Ok, yes seeing the dead preserved Mao seems facinatingly interesting, sign us up."
d. If a flight is missed, you jovially joke with travel mates about how more time with our delightfully quiet and well trained daughter will make them better people in the long run. Possibly lining them up for canonization in the distant future.

How did Muffin Man take all of this? Quite well. But he was on the second Boddingtons and I was wearing lip gloss and a low cut blouse.

Then adult conversation moved on:

2. Just how many hours can one spend learning a camcorder, camcorder software, video upload share ware, and possible video uploading to blog? Let's just say A LOT. And, I still can't get blogger to upload the video from Dropshots. Is anyone out there a wiz at this, oh great internets? I've done the hard part I just can't get it to upload to blogger. Grrrr.... I'm very open to switching to You Tube if it would be easier. I think it might be user error, ha, or blogger, double ha.

3. Don't ask my why this came up but then I thought it would be a good time for me to discuss how hard it theoretically would be for an ex-business woman turned full time mommy to re-enter the business world when my littlest bird flies the nest to Kindergarten. Aren't there books written about this? Shouldn't I perhaps focus on getting us to China in one piece to first get the littlest bird? No, I am feeling the need to discuss possible future careers...now.

The Muffin Man suggested that I would be very good as the Costco checkout person who greets you at the egress. He mentioned this since I have perfected the fine art of drawing smiley faces in my current career. Yeah, can we all say resume builder?

And that concluded our evening out. It is Wednesday and I'm still no closer to uploading video to the blog......

9 Months Ago

9 Months Ago Today...

A beautiful heathy baby was born in Southern China.
Her parent(s) knew they could not raise her.
They or someone helping them placed her to be found.
And walked away.

It might have been 9 months they carried this decision secretly in their minds.

A world away an American family had been waiting 9 months for a new baby.
They thought they'd hear of this child soon.
It was not to be since she was just being born and not ready.

Now it is 9 months later. Just the right time to bring a baby home.
Or so the addages of time tell us.

Nine months...Happy Nine Months Baby Girl.

Dear Terrorist

Dear Terrorists,

I know you probably weren't thinking about my personal need for liquid Benedryl on our forthcoming trip to China when you chose to unsuccessfully sneak deadly sparklers in hydrated bottle on a flight from London, you schmucks.

You see it was for my 4 year old who is accompanying us on the long ass international trip. Ok, she is not exactly doomed with smallish sinus cavities or anything it is just that an occasional small dosage of Benedryl for a non-sleeping cranky and somewhat vocal 4 year old can save a well intentioned parent from overdosing on illegally obtained vicodan in cases of extreme distress. An example of extreme distress would be up to and including all travel mates falling asleep and 4 year old daughter deciding it is time to throw the mother of all hissy fits complete with attempts to stab mother with a pencil while oudly schrieking the expletive she learned from Daddy last weekend.

If this RED alert travel thing you set into place is not lifted in less than 13 days I will readdress you using your given name complete with middle name extension.

Thankyou,
Seat 23E

Got the Money, Honey?

Picture This:

One adoptive mom wants to somewhat discreetly go to bank to pick up truckload of cash "stuck in 1973" agency requires to be carried on person to China for 2 week adoption trip. Has no one heard of a little thing called wire transfer they invented about the same time the second James Bond movie came out? Yes, that was a Sean Connery flick by the way. Miss Moneypenny, ironically enough, was wearing pointy a tits bra, it was that long ago. Did I ever mention that my husband is the sole person on earth who truly thinks pointy tits bras were a fashion statement worthy of re-thinking? He loves them, I think this is hilarious in a twisted sort of way. Sorry, I digress.

One adoptive mom has no other choice but to drag less than discreet 4 year old along for high powered finanacial transaction. Muffin man is gallavanting again at some work related golf outing in Chicago. Work related, right. The only bonus to this is he promises me he is going to win the corvette they are giving away and give to to me. How sweet is that in a hit her over the head and drag her by the hair back to the cave sort of way? Corvette, fine...cash it in and buy me business class tickets to China buddy. Better yet...buy ME and upgade and keep the 4 year old in cattle class. See you in Beijing. So, he's gone I gotta take Ava to the bank with me to count out clean hundred dollar bills.

Can you see where this might go wrong?

She marches into the bank lobby and sets up shop at the coffee table with crayons and bank logo paper. I approach the window, calmly and quietly. (I was about to withdraw mucho dinero after all.) The teller knows us. She immediately starts whipping out wads of 100's. I frown and ask for a back room. She calmly states there is no back room, there is a coffee table but that is already being used by another bank customer. Turns out in a strange turn of events the other bank customer is my four year old drawing rainbows while singing the Wonder Pet's Theme Song at the top of her lungs. She breaks only to ask if she can see all the money and where is her root beer sucker? I quickly flash her the evil eye and say, "No root beer sucker if you are talking about money. I will show you the money at home. " Icksnay on the oneymay, I try in pig latin with her. She starts giggling uncontrollably, I mean big belly laughs which result in her falling on the floor and writhing in humor. Now the loan lady's interest is peaked and she wants to get all chatty about the ins and outs of a Chinese adoption. "Oh, are you going back?", she bellows. I bury my head acting all confused and flustered with that much green in my greasy palms. Go-away-people. If I get robbed I'm blaming Ava, I'm not above it.

In between me multitasking flicking 50's around and tossing Ava that sucker I realize that most of this money is not super new. China likes super new money. I asked for super new money. The teller states that her supervisor stated this would be fine. Really? Has the supervisor ever been reamed in a Changsha hotel for trying to pass a 100 dollar bill with one little dog ear bend? I think probably not. My patience is wearing thin, but if I want to get out of there to go home and stash the cash under my mattess for the next two weeks I better quit complaining and start scooping up rainbow pictures off the floor before Ava asks for tape to "decorate" the lobby.

Ultimately we left with 6 new rainbow pictures and a possible cavity. Oh yes, and heavy purse full of the green stuff. It is buried under the airconditioning unit in case you see fit to stop by the cul-de-sac late tonight. It worked for Tony Soprano...it can work for us.

And, yes I did let Ava sniff it when we got home. Just for a few more shits and giggles.

Blood, Thick or Thin?

Olivia Xi GeGe - Yangxi, Guangdong

Ava Jing Tang - Yueyang, Hunan

The picture on the left is Liv on July 15, 2006 at Yangxi County SWI , Guangdong. She just turned 8 months old . The picture on the right is Ava August of 2002. In the photo she is about 7 months old. I have the picture on the left only by the grace of another adoptive family who visited Yangxi last month and took the time to photgraph as many babies in the room as possible. That is the work of adoption angels, no not freaky red thread garbage, just people who obviously care about someone other than themselves. People who know what it is like to have a baby, but not be able to see her or touch her for 8 weeks after you meet her on paper.

Here is the thing that is sort of freaking me out. Have you read about how the CCAA really reads the homestudies and looks at the pictures looking for a connection while matching? My girls were born in 2 different provinces almost 4 years apart. Ava, in Yueyang which is far north in Hunan. Liv in Guangdong and Southern Guangdong at that. But I gotta say they look a bit alike as babies.

It is almost like comparing Muffin Man's awesome thick head of Irish red curls and my um, propensity to see the good in folks? Fine, I have long legs but believe me they are nothing to write home about. Oh wait, but that would only be right if we had procreated using the old-fashioned method. These girlies are sisters of circumstance not dna. (They can thank us for that little detail later in life.)

Riding the couch last night I sat and reveled in my girls' loveliness. How sweet in spirit they seem in these photos. How much they seem willing to take on the world. My main man was quick to point out that they are NOT blood related, dare I suggest otherwise. I know I told him, that honestly never crossed my mind. It is just well, weird. Meant to be. I just want them to feel some sort of connection with each other that binds them for life. I want this bad, really bad. Who cares about blood? It is a soul connection that matters. Looking at them I see this, they look similar. They belong together.

Just gotta go get her.

The Magic Touch Of Doom

Everything I touched today fizzled out, spontaneously combusted or slowly lost power dying a slow and painful electronic death. Of course I was toting my less than agreeable 4 year old along while speaking with the cable company and the router gal and the jelly beans for brains young'un at Best Buy. It was ever so delightful. "Mom, this is sooo boring." I heard for the 60th time on our journey to better home electronics before I swear my head spun a scary 180 degrees to ask her how old she was, 16? And a surly 16 at that.

My girl is not all that interested in why a mini dvd RAM should be ever so much more fabulous than a mini dvd -r for our trip to China in a few weeks. She is not appreciating that I am working very hard to insure that she and her sister have a homemade (but professional looking) movie complete with IZ's version of Somewhere Over The Rainbow music and tactful sub-captions detailing their mystical journey together. Should I call it Sisters, The Beginning? Or wait for something even more pretentious to come to me? (She says dreamily.) When I'm dust, these two sisters better be tearfully watching this stupid movie I'm going to make for them each family day anniversary. If they don't I'm hopping out of the grave...and don't think I won't either.

I'm back up and running. The router is fixed, the tv has cable again, and the phone is ringing. Ahhhh, the sound of chaos. I still don't have the coveted mini dvd rams but I suppose there is tomorrow for that. I'm getting up early tomorrow to drag poor little miss "how boring" to Circuit City.

We will be outfitted electronically in China, even if I have to blow a gasket trying.

Don't think that I will heed the words of my sage-like mother who heard this today and said, "Oh gosh, don't you think this all seems a little complicated? Why not make it easy on yourself in China?"

Oh no, let's not do that.

Fire Up The Engines We Have Dates!

It is true. My friends it does really happen sooner or later in this China adoption game. Fine, I will concede to later, it is only fair to those of us waiting longer than 12 BIG months.

Here's the skinny...

We leave August 24th, 2006.

We fly Continental. Fabulous, the Muffin Man has about 6 frequent flyer points with them so it is all about that AMEX card. But, who cares since Yangxi, GeGe awaits. And, can I take the mulah to the grave? I think not.

We fly home Sept. 8, 2006 from Guangzhou to Beijing and then onto Newark and then home to our favorite Midwestern state. Then, its onward and upwards with life.

More details later, since I had to ask the travel agency about 64 questions earlier this evening and my head is swimming in un-chlorinated water.

1600 Brain Cells Down

This winter I read a lot of adoption blogs. Seven extra pounds on my ass worth to be exact. I would sit and become enthralled with the family as they proceeded through referral and then the blessed TA only to finally obtain the holy grail...plane tickets with firm travel dates to China. In my been there done that smuglyness, I would scoff when the packing discussion started as rocky road ice cream dripped down my chin and onto the keyboard.

Packing a coffee maker?..ha, don't they know that China now has Starbucks? Packing 150 diapers?...ha, don't they know about the dreaded evil corporate Wally is invading a Chinese city near you? Trash bags...they know about 'em and you can get 'em. Duct Tape by the supersize rolls? I never did exactly figure out what that was for.

Then the uber ridiculousness would start. Parents would explain that they weren't sleeping because of stress, general anxiousness or morose malaise caused by the fact that junior was a world away and they were well...in Wisconsin. Not sleeping, are you insane people? Don't you know that in about 4 weeks your sleeping life as you know it will be caught up in a world of 17lbs. of schreeking 3am madness spewing from one adorable black spiky headed spawn? For the love of God people, sleep whilst you can. Sleep in, go to bed early, do the horizontal hokey pokey with your spouse and then sleep it off, take a nap, doze off in the car...just SLEEP.

Here I am at the 11th hour. NOT SLEEPING. I've become one of them. One of the stupdido internets NOT SLEEPING BEFORE the adoption of bambina! At 1am I remembered to pack little packets of sugar in case Olivia doesn't like us and needs a sugar high to cope. (It's ok baby, any gal's gal needs a little "suga" to cope now and again, momma understands.) At 2am I remembered that we need a list of people to buy gifts for in Guangzhou. At 3am I remembered that we still haven't received an updated I 171-h after the whole re-fingerprinting party earlier in July, on my birthday no doubt! Holy shit, is that a burecratic problem I need to address?

I might have to tuck my "I have it all together" self under an ego sofa cushion and call the Dr. for a little Ambien or something. Man, I am NOT pleased.

TA and that means Terrific Already!

It is hard for me to believe that last time we completed an adoption I didn't even know what Travel Approval was or when we got it. We just received a call about 4 weeks after our referral telling me to call some lady at a travel agency, have a credit card in hand and be ready to book the tickets. Ugh, ok. I completed the whole transaction at work where I was consulting at the time in a lonely little cubicle. I think that I called the Muffin Man afterwards to explain that I booked us on a flight leaving the States Friday the 13th of Sept. 2002. Which was 2 days after the 1 year anniversary of 9/11/01. No one but me wanted to travel on the 11th. Come on folks, don't you think that would be the safest day to travel? Wouldn't every policeman and their mother be expecting something weird? Alas, I lost and we traveled Friday the 13th, voodoo day. To this day I still don't unstand how that was better.

But this time the land of milk and honey comes with more complications, trials and tribulations. Are the TA's in with the new referral batch? Will they be here within 3-5 weeks of referral? Is Guangdong really giong to make us stay on Shaiman Island for 3 weeks? Does this mean we won't get to see Beijing with the 1/2 of our group that has babies waiting for them in Jiangxi? Will I get another mouth ulcer from stress? Will I pull a fistful of hair out of my head?

It is all for not. TA's made their way to my agency this morning without fanfare. The gang at the agency is busily applying for American Consulate appointments as I write this. I might get a call telling me to grab for the American Express card and call 1-800 We Ship You To China Travel Agency before the end of the week.

And how is Ava taking in all of the excitement of packing and visas and travel approvals?


"What's all the trouble for, Mon? Let's do the Pegasus movie in 3D. No worries."

(Yes, that is a peace, love and alligators tee shirt.)